This stinging but oh so accurate comment by an anonymous Yahoo Sports blog reader pretty much sums up exactly how we feel about the just released news that Brazilian Victoria's Secret model Adriana Lima secretly married NBA "star" Marco Jaric of the Memphis Grizzlies in Wyoming over Valentine's Day weekend.
Okay, there's so much wrong with this, we don't know where to begin.
How in the hell are these two a match? She's from beautiful, tropical Brazil; he's from everyone's favorite vacation destination, war-torn Serbia.
She's one of the most successful and highest paid models in the world; he's currently averaging a whopping 1.8 ppg playing for the last in their division, 26 games under .500 Memphis Grizzlies.
And she's one of the most attractive women in the world, and he's not even one of the most attractive Memphis Grizzlies. You get the idea. When it comes to cute couples, we're not exactly talking Eva Longoria and Tony Parker here.
And to make matters worse, Adriana claimed to be a virgin, telling GQ magazine that, "Sex is just for after marriage."
Great... "While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it!"
So yeah, we're jealous. But we still say this perverse relationship is an affront against all of humanity and ultimately doomed. He's in Memphis, or on the road playing games seven months a year, and she's jetting all over the world doing photoshoots, runway work, or guesting on How I Met Your Mother and Ugly Betty.
We're thinking sooner or later Adriana's amnesia's gonna wear off, or she'll catch a glimpse of herself and Marco in a mirror, or perhaps the universe will self-correct itself in some other way.
Until that time, Adriana and Marco's marriage officially goes to number one on our list of most inexplicable celebrity pairings ever, just ahead of Heidi Klum/Seal and Julia Roberts/Lyle Lovett.
Adriana Lima interview with GQ