March 21, 2024

Darth Vader's Lamest Excuses for Being Late for His Meeting with the Emperor

Needed extra time to iron my cape. Can't intimidate the rebel scum with wrinkles you know!

Doctor's appointment. (Not sure if you can tell but I kind of have a breathing problem.)

TIE fighter got stuck in traffic. Who would have thought there'd be rush hour in hyperspace?

Buried in paperwork -- mostly workers comp claims from Death Star explosion.

Darth Vader in his office facing a mountain of paperwork

Got delayed on Tatooine. Turns out, they actually weren't the droids we're looking for.

Lightsaber wasn't working. Went to Target to snag fresh batteries. 


Darth Vader changing the batteries in his light saber

Disturbance in the Force upset my stomach. Had to stop at Rite Aid for some Pepto Bismol.

Hungover from drinking games last night. (Pro tip: Never try to chug against Jabba the Hut.)

Darth Vader and Jabba the Hut in a bar chugging beers

Lost track of time trying to learn all the Stormtroopers first names. (Why do all these guys have to look so much alike anyway?)

Force-choked another imperial officer and got called in to HR.

Family emergency. Had to reveal my identity to my son and then chop off his hand.


March 20, 2024

Great Album Covers: A Momentary Lapse of Reason, Superman & Dookie

Pink Floyd album A Momentary Lapse of Reason

Pink Floyd's A Momentary Lapse of Reason -- unlike many of the band's greater efforts (The Final Cut, Dark Side of the Moon, The Wall) -- is not a concept album. The cover photo, on the other hand, is highly conceptual, conveying ideas of isolation, loneliness and irrationality. When contemplating prospective cover art, lyrics from the album track "Yet Another Movie" brought images of an empty bed to Pink Floyd guitarist David Gilmour. Gilmour explained his idea to Storm Thorgerson whose design firm was responsible for several notable rock album covers including the aforementioned Dark Side of the Moon, Led Zeppelin's Houses of the Holy and Pieces of Eight by Styx. Thorgerson's final design was a type of installation art that provided a nod to the album's track list and incorporated a soaring hang glider ("Learning to Fly") and several dogs ("Dogs of War") occupying an English beach with not one, but 700 carefully arranged wrought iron Victorian beds. Though shot on a typical gray day, the sky we see has a lovely purplish hue, which gives the photo and this cover a wonderfully serene feel. 

Barbra Streisand album Superman

Barbra Streisand's nineteenth album would be one of her best-selling. Released in 1977 when she was coming off the success of the chart topping "Evergreen" single and three straight box office hits (The Way We Were, Funny Lady and A Star is Born) Streisand was arguably at the peak of her career and rightly being considered the biggest female talent in entertainment. But on the Superman cover she belies prevailing opinions with a simple, demure pose against a plain blue backdrop. Wearing a plain white t-shirt emblazoned with the Superman logo, knee socks and white shorts, Streisand is shy but coquettish as she sheepishly cocks her head and tugs down on her shirt. Adorable!

Green Day album Dookie

Like Never Mind the Bullocks Here's the Sex Pistols, Green Day's Dookie is more than just a major label debut, it's a pronouncement. Just as the Sex Pistols' album had seventeen years prior, Dookie makes the statement: "We're here; we're kicking the effing doors in and we're changing the face of punk." Unfortunately, despite the fact that their lone album is considered one of the seminal works of its genre, the Sex Pistols didn't last. Green Day, however, is closing in on five decades of punk rock relevancy. 

Dookie's cover is everything you'd expect from a punk album -- frenetic, irreverent, iconoclastic. In a jam-packed R. Crumb-like illustration by artist Richie Bucher, we see bombs dropped from a plane, a giant mushroom cloud, the "Bad Year" blimp, funny renderings of Patti Smith, fat Elvis and AC-DC's Angus Young; a satyr, a prospector, a giant talking fly, the woman from the first Black Sabbath album, and tons of dogs hurling their feces.

Apart from all the (often scatological) chaos you'll find, the Dookie cover is also a tribute to Green Day's old stomping ground of East Bay, San Francisco. The setting of the entire illustration is downtown Berkeley and Bucher includes representations of several locals from the East Bay punk scene along and the UC Berkeley Marching band. There's also a shout out to Huey Newton, the former Black Panther leader whose base of operations was just a few miles to the south in Oakland, 

This is nowhere close to a full list of all the characters, Easter eggs and inside jokes included on this cover. I bought it when it first came out in 1994 and honestly, I'm still discovering things I hadn't previously.

March 14, 2024

This World Changing Event Took Place Under Cover of the New Millennium...

Cover of The New York Times from Jan 1, 2000

While exploring the Pop Culture Fiend Archives, I came across the New York Times from Jan 1, 2000 -- which I obviously saved because it was the first 21st century edition of one of the largest newspapers in the country. Upon examination, I noticed that overlooked among the banner headline and all the talk about the new millennium was a story about the surprise resignation of Russian President Boris Yeltsin and the installation of one Vladimir Putin. 

Yeltsin resigned due to several factors, including instability in his Cabinet, health issues, a bribery scandal, and cratering popularity among the Russian people due to overall ineffectiveness. Under Putin, Russia has reverted toward its former identity on the world stage as an aggressor, enemy of the U.S., and a major threat to world democracy. Indeed, "President" Putin has become a de facto dictator who, in just a few days, will almost certainly be "elected" to his fifth term thanks to his continuous suppression and outright elimination of any true opposition. 

For close to a quarter century now, Putin has created havoc across the globe -- allying with State Sponsor of Terrorism-designated Syria, cozying up with communist China, invading and advancing a war against Ukraine, poisoning and otherwise assassinating multiple political enemies, interfering in the 2016 U.S presidential election, and rigging elections in his own country. 

Clearly we all had no idea how thuggish and sinister Putin would be back on 1/1/00 but this issue of the New York Times unknowingly announced the start of it all.

February 29, 2024

FX's Capote vs. The Swans & How Iconic 80's Actresses Diane Lane, Molly Ringwald & Demi Moore Make it Great

 

One of the most enjoyable things about Murphy's series: seeing the three most iconic actresses of the 1980's sharing the screen for the very first time... we have Diane Lane, Molly Ringwald and Demi Moore who, forty-plus years after their initial fame, crush their roles and once again show us why they became stars. 

 

We are barely halfway through Ryan Murphy's latest offering, Feud: Capote vs. the Swans but we've already been treated to a once in a decade type performance by Tom Hollander who positively disappears into his (title) character role. Hollander perfectly captures Capote's dual nature -- amusing and endearing but also pompous and infuriating --- and also replicates his speech and mannerisms so precisely it's practically spooky. (To be honest, they should just skip the ceremony and give him the Emmy right now.)

That said, the "Swans" referred to in this series are a group of elite socialites (most of them New York-based) who befriended and patronized Capote after he reached fame with his sensationalistic novel In Cold Blood. After years of trusting some of their most guarded secrets to the author, he reveals them in a Esquire article that included excerpts from a new book titled Answered Prayers. The group then proceeded to ostracize Capote, forever banishing him from the high society circle he relished so much. Capote supposedly coined the term "Swans" to describe these women that were, by all appearances, perfectly composed but in reality were carrying tremendous weight and beneath the surface were always paddling furiously to keep themselves afloat.  

Often, elements of this story and the reaction of the Swans to Capote's betrayal are difficult to understand. Why would these women -- wealthy, refined and entrenched in the upper crust of society, care so much about Truman? Why are they so devasted when he exposes them this way? And why do they second guess themselves for even a minute about cutting them out of their lives?

It's because Capote's assessment of them was correct. Beneath their veneers of perfection, these women are struggling mightily. They've lost their identities after marrying bankers, European royalty, and other rich and powerful men and now deep down perhaps they're realizing that most of what they've accomplished was only made possible through their family and social connections. Maybe they're awakening to the thought that although they're the envy of many, their lives are largely empty, short of pruning the perfect garden, earning "best dressed" honors, or planning Truman's famous Black and White BallOr maybe the betrayal thrust these women into turmoil due to simple embarrassment. For the Swans, appearances (we quickly learn) are paramount. Confronting Truman and making a scene in a swank restaurant they frequent is deemed just as much a sin as the betrayal itself. Likewise, husbands' infidelities are tolerable but the thought of others knowing is not.

It speaks to why Capote was able to fall in with the Swans in the first place. He ingratiates himself with flattery, preying on their superficiality and appearance consciousness, even going so far as to toy with them (and send them into a competitive tizzy) by suggesting he'll be choosing one of them as guest of honor at his ball. In spite of his not so subtle pandering and social climbing, the Swans adopted Truman, introduced him to power brokers, brought him along on lavish vacations, all while sharing their personal doubts and fears. So yes they are clearly victims but not entirely sympathetic due to their own snobbery and pretentiousness. All of this makes them rich, multi-layered characters that any actress (particularly those of a certain age) would love to play.

Which brings me to one of the most enjoyable things about Murphy's series: seeing the three most iconic actresses of the 1980's sharing the screen for the very first time. In addition to Naomi Watts as Babe Paley, wife of CBS head William Paley; Calista Flockhart, as Lee Radziwill, younger sister of Jackie Kennedy, and Chloe Sevigny as fashion icon and author C.Z. Guest, we have Diane Lane, Molly Ringwald and Demi Moore who -- forty-plus years after their initial fame -- crush their roles and once again show us why they became stars.

Diane Lane - Time Magazine cover

Diane Lane first grabbed headlines at age fourteen when she starred opposite Sir Laurence Olivier in the 1979 feature A Little Romance. Olivier called her "the next Grace Kelly" and Time magazine put Lane on the cover, proclaiming her one of Hollywood's "whiz kids." This was at a time  when print was still a dominant form of media, so for a respected world news magazine like Time to dedicate a cover story to a Hollywood actress (especially one still in her early teens) was practically unprecedented. 

Lane next made waves in the cult classic Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains and the more mainstream family pic Six Pack. At the famous casting sessions for Francis Ford Coppola's adaptation of The Outsiders, she beat out a who's who of other young ingenues for the role of the beautiful and conflicted Cherry Valance. The performance earned Lane a Young Artist Award nomination. Coppola was so taken with Lane that he cast her in his next film, Rumble Fish (also based on an S.E. Hinton novel.) 

Diane Lane - Playboy 1985 (from the Pop Culture Fiend Archives)

In 1984, Lane took on the role of Ellen Aim, a kidnapped rock star in Walter Hill's vastly underrated Streets of Fire and later that year she scored her first "adult" role as singer/gun moll Vera Cicero in Coppola's brilliant The Cotton Club. Lane was just eighteen during shooting (her co-star Richard Gere was thirty-four) but brought a sultriness to her performance that helped establish her as one of Hollywood's leading screen sirens. (She would go on to star in two other films opposite Gere, the acclaimed Unfaithful -- for which she earned a Best Actress Academy Award nomination -- and Nights of Rodante, adapted from the Nicholas Sparks novel.)

Diane Lane's other 1980's film roles included stripper/femme fatale Lorry in The Cincinnati Kid-esque The Big Town, and lead in the erotic thriller Lady Beware. She closed out the decade with an Emmy nominated performance in 1989's Lonesome Dove miniseries. 

Diane Lane as Slim Keith in Feud: Capote vs. The Swans

Lane has one of the meatiest roles in Feud, portraying Nancy "Slim" Keith, who wed filmmaker Howard Hawks and Broadway producer Leland Hayward before marrying into British royalty. According to some accounts, Slim helped Capote land high powered agent Swifty Lazar and a million dollar book deal. Lane's Slim is resolute in her disdain and quest for revenge after Capote's backstab and Lane's strong performance portrays her as the icy ringleader of Capote's ostracization. As she did with her character in The Cotton Club, Lane plays Slim as calculating, direct and in charge. When it comes to the Swans, she is "the center of the center" -- as Slim describes herself in episode 3. Lane is also fantastic at replicating the high-born accent and affectations of New York's upper crust.

Though she's three years Lane's junior, Molly Ringwald's career path was eerily similar -- from starting out as a child actress, to having a cover story crowning her the new face of young Hollywood, to having her career propelled forward by a genius director. She first gained attention for her lead role in the west coast production of the stage play Annie. In 1979, at just eleven years old, she played Molly in the The Facts of Life but the show was retooled after its first season and the cast drastically reduced. It was a lucky break for Ringwald; she quickly found success in feature films, beginning with 1982's Tempest, for which she earned a Golden Globe nomination. But it would be 1984's Sixteen Candles that would rocket the young actress to fame. Writer-director John Hughes cast Ringwald as the film's protagonist Samantha Baker, a high school sophomore whose sixteenth birthday is forgotten in the chaos surrounding her older sister's wedding. Ringwald was praised for her tender and authentic portrayal and the film helped propel the teen movie genre into its High Renaissance. 

Like Coppola did with Diane Lane, Hughes was inspired by Ringwald and cast her in his next project -- the film that would come to define Gen X, The Breakfast Club. Ringwald would become something of a muse for Hughes and she next took on the lead role in the director's follow up, Pretty in Pink. A few weeks after the film's release, Ringwald was on the cover of Life magazine in a special issue that christened her as "Hollywood's Teen Queen". Two months later, her own Time magazine cover story cemented this status.

At this point, Molly was eighteen and ready to take on more mature roles. She turned down Hughes' Some Kind of Wonderful and starred as Cordelia in Jean Luc Godard's avant garde exploration of King Learplayed opposite Robert Downey Jr. in the Warren Beatty-produced The Pick-Up Artist; and finished her 80's run with the comedy For Keeps and the drama Fresh Horses, adapted from the stage play.

Molly Ringwald - career progression

In Feud, Ringwald plays Joanna Carson, ex-wife of Johnny, who (like the New York Swans) is taken with Capote's charm, wit and intellect. Carson adopts the discarded Capote and brings him into her circle of elite (this time Hollywood) friends. Ringwald's signature red tresses are colored brunette for this role and at fifty-five years old she naturally no longer possesses her waif-like figure, so it's easy to forget who you're watching. As Carson, Ringwald brings the same effusiveness she did with her Pretty in Pink character Andie and her compassion for Truman is on display in several pathos-rich scenes that portray the man at his lowest.

Demi Moore's road to 1980's stardom was far different than Lane's and Moore's. She wasn't an accomplished child actor and in 1983 -- at the exact same time Lane was shooting scenes with the Academy Award-winning Coppola and Ringwald was about to become the face of the American teenager -- Moore was earning her bones as a recurring character on General Hospital. But in 1984, she starred opposite Michael Caine in the charming but overlooked romantic comedy Blame it On Rio. Though newcomer Michelle Johnson was the breakout star, it was Moore's first major film and she soon began a slow climb to success that would culminate with a run of critical and commercial successes through the 1990's. Ghost, A Few Good Men, Indecemt Proposal, Disclosure and Striptease (the film that made Moore the highest paid actress in Hollywood) were all in her future, along with her own iconic magazine cover, but her rise to fame largely began with the sweet and quirky 1984 teen comedy No Small Affair. The role of Jules in the seminal Gen X coming-of-age drama St. Elmo's Fire followed, as did a relationship with co-star Emilio Estevez and membership in the famous "Brat Pack". Moore then played John Cusack's love interest in One Crazy Summer and re-teamed with her St. Elmo's co-star Rob Lowe in the beloved About Last Night, both released in the summer of 1986. 

Her next film, The Seventh Sign (despite being highly anticipated) was a box office flop. Moore then closed her 80's career with the role of Molly -- a prostitute who befriends two escape convicts (Robert DeNiro and Sean Penn) masquerading as priests -- in the much-hyped Christmastime release We're No Angels.

Interestingly, though her box office hit rate was spotty, Moore's career never stalled during the eighties. She married Bruce Willis, who at the time was starring in the ABC hit Moonlighting but with the release of 1988's Die Hard would soon become a full on movie star. He and Moore became Hollywood's "it" couple which helped Demi move solidly onto Hollywood's A-list -- where she basically remained until the 2000's.

Demi Moore at the Feud: Capote vs. The Swans premiere

In Feud, Moore plays Ann Woodward, a former radio star and showgirl who was married to wealthy  banker William Woodward Jr. In what would become one of the biggest stories of its day, Ann killed William after mistaking him for a burglar. Speculation that it was murder ignited after Capote's book preview, which included a character based on Ann who was painted as a gold digger and murderess. In real life, Capote seemed to have personal disdain for Ann and publicly accused her of killing her husband.

Moore gives us a picture of Ann battling depression and straining to maintain her dignity amid the public stares. She displays venomous anger in certain scenes and intense vulnerability in others. At the ball, we see Moore at her best, portraying calm and elegance -- but when Truman calls security to have her ejected we see her shaken, pleading, humiliated. It's a scene where Moore demonstrates swan-like comportment as she calls Truman out for his misdeeds and it's reminiscent of another emotional scene in which Moore displayed similar range -- the break up scene in About Last Night.

For Lane, Ringwald and Moore, streaming shows and other high end television like Murphy's Feud offer strong, female lead roles that come few and far between in feature films. Past the age where they can star in rom-coms, take on "lethal lady" action roles (e..g., Black Widow, Atomic Blonde) or other parts written for younger actresses, fifty-something actresses are these days too often relegated to lesser fare -- guest shots on network shows or if they're lucky perhaps a starring role in their own series (think Tea Leoni in Madame Secretary or Julia Louis-Dreyfus in Veep.) Thankfully, Capote and the Swans shines a spotlight on three of the most talented and beloved mature actresses who by chance came up at almost the exact same time. You literally could not have chosen three women more representative of young Hollywood during the 1980's than these three. In fact, you almost wish Murphy would have made it an all-80's party and given the Watts, Sevigny and Flockhart roles to Elisabeth Shue, Lea Thompson and Winona Ryder instead.

Maybe next time : )

Feud: Capote vs. The Swans

February 9, 2024

Streaming Wars: Episode 5

In this latest episode of the Streaming Wars audio blog I discuss: 

  • Price increases and regression to ad-supported tiers. 

  • Max successfully rebrands, cuts costs and wins big at the Emmys. 

  • Formation of the Streaming Innovative Alliance.

  • Is Apple acquiring Disney? 

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