Observations from a Cross-Country Drive (with Pop Culture References)

I recently drove from California to New Jersey in three days... 

That's right, three days.

Here are the takeaways and some of the high (and low) lights: 

Yuma, Arizona is unfathomably hot.

I don't mean really really hot; I mean not suitable for human beings hot. I don't even know how plant and insect life can survive hot. I stopped there to buy a sandwich, got out of the car, made it halfway through the parking lot, and was ready to turn back. Matthew Broderick in Biloxi Blues described it quite well:

There are no bagel shops in Odessa, Texas.

I spent the night there, got up and wanted to have a quick breakfast. So I asked Siri where the closest bagel shop was... She showed me a bunch of donut places... 

I asked again and the same thing happened. Upon further investigation, I learned that most of west Texas was devoid of bagels and I would need to go about 90 miles to get one. If Kramer from Seinfeld was with me he would loudly be declaring the following:

After leaving Texas I wound up in something called "Texarkana". 

As near as I could tell, this is some odd, hybrid region of the country that combines the oppressive heat of Texas with the mind-numbing hick-dom of Arkansas. Needless to say, I kept the windows rolled up and sped through it as quickly as possible, lest I encounter any of the the local yokels. 

Also while n Arkansas, I stopped at a convenience store and picked up a couple of bags of Rap Snacks.

What are Rap Snacks you ask? Well they're just plain old potato chips and other salty snacks offered in packaging with pictures of Migos, Notorious B.I.G., and even Cardi B. What's interesting is that Rap Snacks seem to be more popular and widely marketed throughout the south. It's a sobering reminder of the subtly racist tropes and stereotypes that still exist and continue to be perpetuated in this country and across every strata of our society... apparently even our consumer products packaging.

While driving through the south I was careful not to run afoul of sheriffs like Buford T. Justice and J.W. Pepper.

By far, the most tedious part of the drive was through Virginia. 

Governor Youngkin, please prioritize making your highways less boring because while driving through your snoozefest of a state, this almost happened to me twice:

Those QPCs are quite odiferous.

There are SO many rest stops in Pennsylvania and every single one of them has a McDonald's. The result is, you can smell quarter pounders up and down the highway for miles.

The Donnas are the best driving music band of all time.

The all-girl band's distinct mix of hard-charging rock and simple but fun punk-pop (e,g, "Pass It Around", "Are You Gonna Move It For Me", "Fall Behind Me") is infinitely listenable and kept my foot on the accelerator for hours at a time.

Astronomers estimate there are about 100 thousand million stars in our galaxy...

That's only about a dozen or so less than the number of bugs that splattered on my windshield over the course of my 2800+ mile journey. When it's that many bugs, combined with the 70-80 mph speed, the bugs (or what's left of them) get practically permanently embedded in the car's windshield and hood. And then you throw in the heat -- at some points upwards of 100 degrees -- and the mess all gets baked in and actually becomes part of your vehicle. Seriously, by the time I arrived in NJ the front half of my car looked like this Jackson Pollock...

Great Albums Covers: Honey, 1984 & Parallel Lines

Of all the genre-defining, hugely influential funk bands emerging out of the midwest during the 1970s (including Slave, Parliament-Funkadelic, Rufus, Dazz Band and Zapp) Ohio Players may have been the most distinctive, in part due to their album covers. After moving to the Mercury label for their fifth studio album, the band released a string of LP covers that all possessed three artistic elements. First there was the stylized lettering of the band's name -- thick and blocky with "OHIO" usually appearing transparent. Next there were the album titles, most often consisting of a single word -- Fire, Rattlesnake, Contradiction, etc. Finally, apart from chart-topping hits like "Skin Tight" and "Fire", Ohio Players' album covers were known for featuring beautiful semi- (or fully) nude African-American women. With their 1975 smash, Honey, this uninhibited celebration of black feminine beauty reached its zenith. The cover features a topless woman holding a glowing, dripping jar of honey in one hand as she sexily tilts her head back and drips more of the sticky treat into her mouth with a ladle. Playboy Playmate Ester Cordet was the model, famed Playboy photographer Richard Fegley did the shoot, and the album's art director Jim Ladwig won a Grammy award for this cover in 1976.

Depending on your perspective, 1984 is either the album where Van Halen sold out or the one where the band took an important new turn in their career by embracing and validating the synth-pop sub-genre that dominated the early 80s. However you see it, 1984's cover can stand on its own as a gallery-worthy piece of art. Created by graphic artist Margo Nahas and based on a photograph she took of her neighbor's son, the 1984 cover consists of a colorful painting of a delinquent cherub casually enjoying a smoke. His body position is curious and contorted and his attention is clearly on something unseen off to his left. Above this are the band's name and 1984 written in Roman numerals -- which only adds to the cover's Renaissance-era fresco look.

In September 1978 Parallel Lines was released and Blondie had their breakthrough album that soon topped the charts. By the following spring, on the strength of the album's third single, "Heart of Glass", Blondie was the biggest band in the world. Except by this time, Blondie wasn't Blondie anymore; Blondie was Debbie Harry -- and bandmates Jimmy Destri, Frank Infante, Clem Burke, Chris Stein and Nigel Harrison were often viewed as simply backing musicians. As erroneous as that was, Harry was unquestionably the face and identity of the band, a fact that was reinforced by the Parallel Lines cover. Harry (the commanding officer) stands front and center, with hands on her hips and a deadly serious expression on her face, while her male "subordinates" back her on both flanks. All the guys wear identical and unremarkable black suits, while Harry is luminous in a white dress and her matching (trademark) mules. If this is the Justice League, Harry is clearly its Superman. With all of this set against broad, black and white vertical stripes as a background and fire engine red cursive lettering for the band and album names, you've got one eye-grabbing album cover.

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The Art of Cinematography: Megan Fox in Transformers

Long before she began looking like a porn star, before she underwent what many believe to be (regrettable) cosmetic surgery, before giving birth to three kids, before she began a nonsensicle relationship with MGK, before all the box office flops (Jonah Hex, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, Midnight in the Switchgrass) and head-scratching side projects (Legends of the Lost), Megan Fox was every high school boy's fantasy come to life -- half girl next door, half sexy head cheerleader and hottest chick in class.

Fox made the Pop Culture Fiend's Ground Floor List way back in 2004 when she was a regular on ABC's Hope & Faith. Prior to Transformers her most high-profile film role was in the Lindsay Lohan vehicle Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, in which she was memorable as the bitchy, vengeful Carla. 

But with 2007's Transformers, the 20 year old Fox had her breakout role and positively scorched the screen as Mikaela, the ridiculously gorgeous high schooler from the wrong side of the tracks and the object of Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf's) adoration. Mikaela is beautiful but not conceited, and Fox, who at first seems far too sexy to play a high school girl, pulls off a portrayal where Mikaela becomes more down to earth and approachable the more Sam interacts with her. 

In Transformers, Fox's inherent beauty is enhanced and accentuated by the film's director Michael Bay and cinematographer Mitchell Amundsen. Bay's resume' includes Bad Boys, Armageddon and The Rock -- the latter being one the greatest action movies of all time. So whatever you want to say about Bay, the man knows how to shoot churning, frenetic, action. But he also knows how to capture the still beauty of his film's quiet moments. Take a look at this scene from 2001's Pearl Harbor:

It's clear that Bay's cinematographic mastery is not limited to car chases, explosions and CGI'd robots; he is expert at making real people look good -- beautiful in fact. The actors in the scenes above (Josh Hartnett, Kate Beckinsale and Ben Affleck) are all flawless.

And you can say the same about Megan Fox in Transformers. Below are just of the few of the shots that lead one to ask the question titling this blog post.

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