December 13, 2021

Great Album Covers: The Score, Head Games & Vacation

For their breakthrough 1996 album, The Score, The Fugees lifted the font and styling used for the cover of Mario Puzo's novel The Godfather and then added the heavily-shadowed faces of group members Wyclef Jean, Pras Michel and Lauryn Hill.


Foreigner's 1979 album Head Games featured the grainy image of a nubile high school girl seemingly startled as she's caught in the act invading a boy's bathroom. Seventeen-year-old Lisanne Falk (daughter of Peter Falk, aka TV's Columbo) was the teen model used for the photoshoot and years later she would gain fame as one of the Heathers in the 1988 movie of the same name.


Just like in the iconic video for the album's eponymous first single, the Go-Go's Vacation featured the group posing as professional water skiers. A popular all-female team from Cypress Garden, Florida (dressed in white chiffon-like skirts and matching head pieces) was filmed synchronized skiing and waving to the camera. The Go-Go's heads were then superimposed on the skiers' bodies and the result was the postcard-inspired cover for band's sophomore effort.



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December 11, 2021

Shout Out to: Dian Parkinson

Now defunct Stuff magazine (the sister publication of Maxim) used to have a department called “Babes of Yore” which would remember female sex symbols of the past (e.g., Heather Locklear, Farrah Fawcett, Raquel Welch.) Stuff is no longer around but in that same spirit this particular entry in the “Shout Out to: series recognizes babe of yore Dian Parkinson. 

Dian was one of the three models appearing on The Price is Right game show during its heyday in the 1970s and 80s. Beginning her career as a beauty pageant winner (Miss World USA 1971) Diane started on TPIR four years later and quickly became a favorite among male fans of the show. Recognizing Dian's seductive look and buxom figure, plus sex appeal that came right through the TV screen, TPIR producers made it a point to showcase (no pun intended) her assets on a regular basis. Male viewers would always tune in for the last ten minutes of the show hoping the showcases at the end would include a hot tub, trip to Hawaii, or some other prize that would feature Dian appearing in a bikini. Incredibly, Dian was able to keep her amazing figure well into her 40s. 

Regrettably, Dian never branched out to do movie roles, TV guest spots or anything other than TPIR. In 1991 however, Playboy, which had pursued her for years, finally convinced her to pose for their magazine. The result was one of the highest selling issues of all time and a curtain call second pictorial in the May1993 issue. A Playboy newsstand special and celebrity centerfold video followed, but again Dian never capitalized on her popularity and the boost the Playboy publicity gave her. She finally retired from TPIR at age 49 after filing a lawsuit against Bob Barker for sexual harassment. The suit was later dropped and Dian has since disappeared from public life. Still, she apparently remains in the memories of many others — so much so that there are several compilations of her TPIR swimsuit work all over YouTube.

Unbelievably, Dian turns 77 in November but for those who grew up in the 70s and 80s, she remains the ultimate sexy older woman and late morning game show treat.

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October 31, 2021

Go-Go's Inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (About F**king Time!)

Visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame makes many people's bucket list, including mine. The Rock Hall is often criticized for inducting artists whose musical style and influence is far removed from the "rock" genre -- artists like Donna Summer, Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five, The Supremes, Run-DMC and Parliament-Funkaledic. For the record (once again) the Rock Hall's mission is not to recognize rock and roll exclusively, but to "honor artists whose music created the sound of youth culture." The Rock Hall, via official statements and quotes from its representatives, has restated this idea (in one form or another) on numerous occasions so everyone really should be good with that. 

What it's okay not to be good with are the many egregious omissions among the Rock Hall's inductees. These include Foreigner, The Smiths, Spinners, B-52's, Squeeze, Suzi Quatro, Paul Revere and the Raiders, George Michael, Styx, Devo, Kool & The Gang, Weezer, Duran Duran and most amazingly, Pat Benatar. Nevertheless, to its credit, the Rock Hall corrected one of its other omissions this weekend by inducting the Go-Go's. 

Emerging as a punk band in the late 70s before ultimately evolving into a new wave/pop group, their definitive lineup consisted of guitarist Jane Wiedlin, bassist Kathy Valentine, drummer Gina Schock, guitarist and keyboardist Charlotte Caffey, and lead singer Belinda Carlisle. I won't go over the band's bio, resume, or discography (you can find these things anywhere across the web) but suffice it to say that the Go-Go's are the greatest female band of all time -- and still the only one to score a #1 album (1981's Beauty and the Beat.)

Make no mistake, the Go-Go's induction was a very big deal. Events this weekend included a red carpet event, plaque unveiling, Q&A, autograph session, interviews -- and on Saturday night, their formal induction (by Drew Barrymore), speeches, performance and traditional jam session with the other inductees. Check out some of the photos below:










The Go-Go's being honored this way is even more significant when you consider that many of group's fellow girl bands (as well as their 1970s/80s Los Angeles punk and new wave contemporaries) have not been inducted -- or for that matter, even nominated -- for the Rock Hall.) The Runaways are not in. Neither are the Bangles, Motels, X, Black Flag, Berlin or Oingo Boingo. 

So once again, congrats to this seminal 80's band for yet another groundbreaking achievement. All I can say is I echo Stella McCartney's sentiment when she -- on the occasion of her dad Paul's long overdue induction as a solo artist in 1999 -- wore this unforgettable t-shirt to the ceremony.

I wish I had Stella's shirt to wear in the Go-Go's honor this weekend, but I guess I'll have to settle for one of my own (below.)



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October 18, 2021

Rachel Nichols Should Have Known: At ESPN/Disney You Don't Cross the Boss

Today marks the debut of ESPN’s new daily (M-F) show, NBA Today (real creative titling, I know.)


This “new” show is hosted by Malika Andrews (above right) but for all intents and purposes NBA Today is pretty much just a reworking of ESPN’s long running but recently canceled, The Jump.

The Jump featured Rachel Nichols (above left), Kendrick Perkins, Richard Jefferson and others and was noteworthy for having fresh NBA news and reporting, as well as for its entertaining bickering sessions between the inarticulate but lovable country bumpkin Perkins, and the sarcastic and condescending Jefferson. Nichols was the host and referee and would begin each show with a thoughtful monologue on whatever NBA-related topic happened to be at the forefront that day.

But The Jump was abruptly canceled back in August after audio recordings of Nichols commenting on ESPN colleague Maria Taylor surfaced.
 

In a conversation with LeBron James associate Adam Mendelsohn (and by the way, why can LeBron always be found — either by happenstance or because he purposely inserted himself — at the epicenter of anything controversial happening in the NBA?) Nichols openly complained about being passed over (in favor of Taylor) to host the NBA Finals pregame and halftime shows. Nichols also strongly implied that Taylor was the choice largely because she was black.

Now Nichols is well-respected in NBA circles. She’s well-connected, bright and she built a reputation on being a spunky, solid interviewer. But Taylor was a continuously rising star at ESPN for years — charismatic, intelligent and, let’s face it, younger and more attractive than Nichols. A former two sport athlete at Georgia who (unlike Nichols) can bring a player’s perspective to her commentary, Taylor climbed the ranks at ESPN quickly, beginning with her early days as a college football sideline reporter. So when Nichols' comments came to light she was quickly branded on social media as jealous and petty. Moreover, her allegations of reverse racism no doubt didn’t sit well with many of ESPN’s African-American personalities, who aligned themselves with Taylor and were likely insulted by the insinuation that Taylor was getting opportunities not based on merit but due to skin color.

But this wasn’t even the worst part of the leaked recordings -- at least in terms of the damage it did to Nichols’ career. It was the pot shot she took at her ESPN bosses when expressing her dissatisfaction with their decision:

“... I wish Maria Taylor all the success in the world — she covers football, she covers basketball… If you need to give her more things to do because you are feeling pressure about your crappy longtime record on diversity — which, by the way, I know personally from the female side of it — like, go for it. Just find it somewhere else. You are not going to find it from me or taking my thing away.”

Okay, wait a minute… Your thing?… Sweet Rachel my dear, I hate to break it to you, but you don’t have a “thing.”

But I’ll get back to that...

Despite all of this taking place at the worst possible time for everyone involved -- just days before the NBA finals were set to begin -- ESPN didn't immediately discipline Nichols for her words. On the first episode of The Jump after the recordings effectively blew up the Twitterverse, Nichols began the show with a convoluted apology that referenced learning in journalism school the importance of “not being the story.” That was followed by reassurances that she respected Taylor and her work, and a declaration of gratitude for being a part of the ESPN team. Meanwhile, Perkins and Jefferson (who if you didn’t know, are both of black) spent their time looking mostly uncomfortable with the entire situation and trying to figure out what to say in support of Taylor without piling on and embarrassing Nichols. Perkins for his part came up with this fence-riding gem when addressing Nichols directly:

“I know your heart -- great person, great individual. My only hope is that we have a commitment overall to support each other through this process and continue to support each other through our journey.” 

Process?... Journey?... Thanks Perk for the corporate-speak and vague, meaningless, platitudes.

But back to our story...

A few days later, it was Andrews who took over the sideline reporting role during the 2021 Finals (the gig that Nichols never wanted in the first place.) Andrews crushed it and in the process garnered herself some prime time exposure, ultimately parlaying the opportunity into the host role on NBA Today.

Taylor, who had been in contract negotiations around this time, wound up leaving ESPN. She’s at NBC now where she’s hosted very late night Olympics coverage and is now part of the Sunday Night Football studio crew with Tony Dungy and Drew Brees.

Nichols fate was sealed almost from the minute the recordings were first leaked. She failed to learn from the mistakes of so many ESPN colleagues that came before her. If she had, she would have known that at ESPN the rules are keep your mouth shut and don't be controversial. ESPN is a Disney property  after all (one of the conservative company's many holdings) and it pays to be able to say (as ESPN fantasy football analyst Matthew Berry often jokes) “I'm a company man.”

But the thing is, it’s not a joke. History shows that at ESPN you either tow the company line or you're out.

Nichols should ask Bill Simmons what happens to you at ESPN when you butt heads with the bosses. Specifically, ask how it worked out when he was feuding with the network over the content of his B.S. Report podcast, editorial control of ESPN's sports and pop culture blog Grantland, critical comments he made about NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, and other issues. Because Simmons got his start with his home-grown Boston Sports Guy website he was likely used to a certain amount of independence and editorial freedom. So when ESPN disrupted that with concerns over what Simmons was saying on his podcast, as well as what he was tweeting and writing in his columns, it caused enough friction that the network chose not to renew his contract in 2015.

Similarly, Nichols should ask Jason Whitlock how ESPN handles on-air talent who disparage their colleagues. In 2006, Whitlock accused ESPN's Scoop Jackson of “ghetto posturing” and called his work “an insult to black intelligence.” It was not the first, nor would it be the last insensitive, overtly racist, or downright asinine comment that Whitlock would make. Indeed, he continues to spew trash opinions, even as recently as last week. But more to the point, ESPN correctly read that Whitlock (as a writer and commentator) was a sensationalistic (and calculated) contrarian and a purveyor of radical thought designed to draw attention to himself, and the result of his rant against Jackson was Whitlock's dismissal from ESPN.

If Nichols didn’t learn from Whitlock to steer clear of the hot button in this country that is race, she should have learned it from Jemele Hill. Hill co-hosted Numbers Never Lie, His & Hers, and SportsCenter 6 on ESPN -- but not without controversy. 

Jemele Hill

Hill had a history of inflammatory comments and wasn’t shy about speaking her mind. She once equating rooting for the Boston Celtics to claiming Hitler was a victim -- a remark for which ESPN suspended her. On the His & Hers show, she (and partner Michael Smith) would routinely opinionate on social issues and also sometimes go out of their way to inject and debate racial components of ostensibly benign sports stories (such as whether Serena Williams was the greatest women’s tennis player of all time.)

ESPN was no doubt aware of the tack Hill was fond of taking and tried to ignore it. But things began to unravel when she tweeted that Donald Trump was a white supremacist. The White House took exception and demanded an apology and the story made national headlines. Just a short time later -- in the middle of Colin Kaepernick’s movement encouraging NFL players to kneel during the national anthem as a call for social justice -- Hill spoke out against Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones. Jones had threatened to bench any player who “disrespected” the flag, to which Hill responded by urging fans to boycott Cowboys advertisers, should Jones follow through on his threat. For this, ESPN suspended Hill again and a short time later moved her off of the network to The Undefeated, an ESPN web property similar to Grantland. By the end of that year, Hill was gone from ESPN entirely.

It’s understandable that Nichols might have been unhappy with how ESPN was using her and that she believed she should have been given the NBA Finals hosting gig over Taylor based on having superior credentials and longer tenure. But do you know who else was unhappy with the way ESPN was using them?… Michelle Beadle. 

Beadle was a fixture on ESPN for years. She co-hosted SportsNation, NBA Countdown, and in her second stint with the network, Get Up with Mike Greenberg. But Beadle wasn’t shy about hiding her frustration with the show or her opinions on delicate issues (such as the Ray Rice domestic abuse case.) On top of that, she was sometimes condescending towards those with opinions she felt lacked validity. Watching her on Get Up was sometimes uncomfortable; you could actually feel the tension and see how frustrated she was with the show’s format and lack of seriousness. She seemingly wanted the show to be something that it wasn't (similar to the way Hill and Smith aspired to make their shows more pop culture oriented.) Beadle unceremoniously left Get Up and ultimately moved on from the network altogether.

In the end you could say that Nichols fatal mistake was that she got too cocky. “You’re not going to do it by taking away my thing,” was her quote.

Nichols should ask some of the other talent at ESPN how protective they are of their “thing.” They’ll probably (correctly) respond by saying they don’t have a “thing.” Their “thing” is whatever the network and bosses decide their "thing” is. Personalities like Marcus Spears, Cassidy Hubbarth, Elle Duncan, Dan Orlovsky, Mina Kimes, Jorge Sedano, Anita Marks, and Katie Nolan have all learned this. All of them are Swiss Army knives, handling everything from sideline reporting, to in studio hosting work, remote reporting from home, and guesting on Max Kellerman's This Just In as well as the God-awful Around the Horn show. (Heck, the latter is pretty much the only on-camera work that Sarah Spain even does anymore.) It’s because all of these individuals understand that their "thing" varies from week to week depending on how ESPN decides to use them. Laura Rutledge understood this too. She bounced around the network handling varying roles before landing comfortably as the host of NFL Live. And who at ESPN could have a bigger beef about the way she's being used than Molly Querim, who sits in the dummy seat every day on First Take, where all she essentially does is throw out a topic and then sit on her hands quietly for ten minutes while Kellerman and Steven A. Smith do all the talking.

Look, discussing the lack of diversity in sports broadcasting, race, social inequity, domestic abuse, and all the rest is necessary and can be incredibly productive. And certainly all of the columnists, reporters, analysts, et. al. at ESPN are entitled to their opinions. But the history at that network is clear -- you don’t get to have it both ways. You don’t get to enjoy the healthy paycheck and massive reach that ESPN provides -- and then get to say, write or tweet whatever you want. Nichols forgot that above almost all else, Disney wants to remain family-friendly and aims to produce content and promote talent that is non-controversial and advertiser friendly. Those who want to radically opinionate, stir the pot, or call out the company publicly are invariably shown the door. It’s why Lucasfilm (another Disney property) dismissed Gina Carano from The Mandalorian after tweets claiming voter fraud in the 2020 Presidential election, mocking the wearing of face masks to prevent Covid 19, and comparing conservatives who are criticized for their beliefs to Jews being persecuted by the Nazis. It’s not that Carano (or anyone else) can’t think, or say or do things that go against the grain -- it's simply that the cultures at the companies under the Disney umbrella just won't tolerate it.

September 30, 2021

Moonlighting: How the Best Show on Television Came Apart at the Seams

The following article is transcribed from an essay I wrote on May 15, 1989 -- the day after the last episode of Moonlighting aired. The Newsweek cover is an original scan from the Pop Culture Fiend Archives. Any additions or clarifications made during article transcription appear in brackets.


Moonlighting: How the Best Show on Television Came Apart at the Seams 

It’s all over now... Last night was the last episode of Moonlighting ever. Whether ABC will show reruns of this season's episodes, I don’t know. The show might even go into syndication (God forbid.) Regardless, there will be no new episodes of Moonlighting. But despite this, the show will not be forgotten. Personally, I have several episodes on videotape, including some of the classic ones. But as I was watching that very last episode I couldn’t help but wonder what happened. This is a show that two years ago was the hottest thing going, and now it’s been abruptly canceled. 

I’m obviously not a network executive; I don’t have access to Hollywood inside information but I've followed the show from the very beginning and made the following determinations that help explain Moonlighting's staggering downfall.

Cybill Shepherd‘s pregnancy

Anytime a lead actress on a TV series becomes pregnant it's trouble. And anybody who watched Moonlighting regularly can tell you that it certainly spelled the beginning of the end for the show. It happened during the great '86-'87 season and by the time Mark Harmon showed up [to form the riveting Dave-Maddie-Sam] love triangle] the show was already shooting around Shepherd's pregnancy.

But Shepherd's pregnancy wasn’t the [only] problem... For some reason it was decided that the Maddie character would become pregnant as well. Now someone should have recognized that this was not a smart move. By making Maddie pregnant, the writers were painting themselves into a corner. They were committing themselves to a main storyline (i.e., what will happen with Maddie's baby? And will she and David stay together?)

The smart thing to do would have been to simply let Shepherd have her baby and write Maddie out of the show for the first few episodes of the '87-'88 season. The show was certainly popular enough at the time (9th in the ratings the previous year) and Bruce Willis was talented enough to carry several episodes by himself. Then, when Maddie returned (from wherever) she and Dave could get back to business as usual and their romance could take whatever direction the writing team saw fit. 

The writer's strike

Show creator Glenn Gordon Caron and the Moonlighting writers had trouble delivering the normal amount of episodes to the network under normal circumstances. [Moonlighting was one of the most dialogue-heavy shows of its time, loaded with constant banter, sharp wordplay, flirtations and lengthy arguments between Dave and Maddie. This led to Moonlighting scripts typically being much longer than the average one-hour detective show.] So when the 1988 Hollywood writers' strike hit, the show got off to a very late start that fall and began to lose popularity. 

Outside projects of the two stars 

Simply put, Moonlighting gave Cybill Shepherd's career a rebirth and made Bruce Willis's. Willis was an unknown before landing his role, but soon proved himself to be a major TV talent as well as a natural for the big screen. He appeared on television specials, cut an album and played some live gigs, and in the summer of 1988 his movie Die Hard was a blockbuster. Soon after, Willis went on record saying he would do the last two years of his Moonlighting contract and then call it quits. 

Shepherd also shot a movie during the show's run (Chances Are) and did a number of TV commercials. More importantly [after enduring a post-1970's career stall] Hollywood was interested in her again and she was getting all kinds of offers. Because of all this, Willis and Shepherd became distracted and in some episodes their performances suffered. In particular, Willis, who won an Emmy in 1987, looked as if he was just counting the days until his contract expired and he would be free to do movies full-time. Shepherd was slightly better but her acting seemed [apathetic] at times and she and Willis both seemed like they’d rather be someplace else. [Shepherd, for example, in efforts to be more comfortable during shooting, would insist on swapping her heels for a pair of Reeboks. This wasn't a big deal in and of itself, but given the context of what was happening with the show at the time, perhaps it was an indication that she was becoming spoiled and bored with the show.]

Bad choices by the show creators

When the '87-'88 season finally got underway, it proved disastrous. After finally sleeping with David, Maddie wound up flying home to Chicago in order to sort things out, while David, Bert and Agnes held the fort [at Blue Moon] in LA. Having Dave and Maddie in two different cities killed the fundamental premise of the entire show -- the friction and love/hate relationship between the two characters. Since the two were not interacting, the writers chose to focus some episodes on David and others on Maddie. [With the exception of the two-part "Cool Hand Dave" episode] most of these shows were just awful. (Remember the Pat Boone episode in which Maddie imagined what it would be like if David cleaned up his act?) 

[The shows fans were not happy and] ratings began to slip drastically. Then, in what was perhaps the worst decision anyone could have made, it was decided that Maddie would marry a man she just met on a train. One can only assume that this was a desperate attempt to boost ratings [via shock value] and generate new interest in the show. But viewer response to Maddie's marriage was so overwhelmingly negative that the writers were forced to have her divorced two episodes later. 

Natural decline in the quality of writing

[Jeff Reno and Ron Osborne headed the Moonlighting writing team and for two and half seasons the group was able to inject the show with some of the snappiest, wittiest and intelligent dialogue we would see prior to the debuts of shows like The West Wing (which Reno and Osborn also worked on) and Frasier. To this day, the "Atomic Shakespeare" episode of Moonlighting remains one of the single greatest pieces of television ever produced for a weekly prime time series -- right up there with "Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen" (the final episode of M*A*S*H) and the "A, My Name is Alex" episode of Family Ties.]

Indeed, Moonlighting was one of the most creative and imaginative series in the history of television and the fact that its scribes were able to maintain such high-level quality writing for as long as they did is testimony to their genius. But you can only go so far with the same characters in the same setting, and in the fifth season ('88-'89) the writers seemed to run out of steam. The storylines became thinner and the dialogue not as funny. The show began to rely more and more on the gimmicks (like characters breaking the fourth wall and addressing the audience directly) that had made the show something special. In the first show of that season, Maddie lost the baby, finally freeing everyone from a storyline that should have never been pursued in the first place. The plan for that season was to start from scratch, but the damage had been done. Both the ratings and the buzz around the show had declined tremendously the season before and though all the ingredients seemed to still be there, the magic was gone. 

So there you have it. As I sat watching the last 15 minutes of the last Moonlighting ever, I thought to myself, "So this is how it all ends?" 

I thought about how I had been one of the few who had watched the show from the very beginning, before it became so popular. I thought about the pilot episode [which premiered so unusually in March of 1985 as a very late season replacement.] Later, I thought about how many people were missing this last episode [despite the fact that it was specifically written, shot and promoted as the series finale.] 

It  was a sad moment but those last 15 minutes with Dave and Maddie were great. When Maddie said, "I can’t imagine not seeing you tomorrow," it really felt like she (Cybill Shepherd) meant it. And then there’s a shot of Willis' face and he looked genuinely moved -- like he had all kinds of different feelings on the inside. [Like he knows that although things got awfully muddled along the way, nevertheless, this isn't the way the book should end.] That look on his face says it all. 

Still and all, it was a great ending to a great show -- and it was great while it lasted. 

So long Moonlighting, I’m gonna miss you...

I love that show.


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September 19, 2021

What's the Deal with the Serena-Wonder Woman Commercial?

Not sure what the recent fascination with Serena Williams is all about. She's 40, well past her prime athletically, is constantly injured these days, and hasn't won a Grand Slam since the 2017 Australian Open (which began in January of that year -- when Barack Obama was still in the White House!) 

There wasn't this much coverage or interest in Serena fifteen or so years ago when she was at the top of her game, dominating women's tennis and winning tournaments on a regular basis. So why do we now seemingly see her everywhere, including this commercial for Direct TV? Click here to see see what I mean.

If you're like me, you probably noticed that somehow, the Amazonian powers that Serena gains not only transform her into Wonder Woman, they also enable the moles on her face to travel back and forth indiscriminately from the right side (0:14) to the left side (0:18). This phenomenon is evident no matter which cut of the commercial you're watching (albeit with different timestamps.)

So did someone somehow inadvertently flip the image and no one noticed until it was too late?... Was the image flipped purposely in order to solve some larger production dilemma, thereby leaving no choice but to have Serena's moles appear to bounce back and forth?... I guess we'll never know. But this happenstance (however it came to be) deserves to examined. 

I seriously doubt this blunder wasn't caught in time. You're telling me, the agency's creative leads, the commercial's director, the video editors and production people involved, the account execs, and the client (i.e., all of the big-wigs at AT&T) -- they all missed this and only realized the error after the spot began airing?... Doubtful.

So the question is, how could the company choose to let the spot go to market like this? I mean, wasn't there a meeting where they weighed the pros and cons of such a decision? 

I can honestly say that I have been in those meetings -- where the advertising agency, after days, weeks or months of production, presents finished creative to the client company. "Last look"-type meetings where the client signs off on said creative, and I can state unequivocally that there is absolutely no acceptable explanation for why something like this shouldn't be fixed... None. 

You spend all of that money producing this commercial; you pay Serena; you pay John McEnroe; you pay the costumer (likely the same one used for Gal Gadot for the WW movies) and have a custom-fitted duplicate outfit made for Serena; and you don't want to spend the cash or take the time and effort to make the spot right by fixing the moles issue?

The result of not doing so is that we're left with a commercial that's something that AT&T and its ad agency should be ashamed of. Even moreso after so many like me have called them out on Twitter

Look, replacing TV ads and similar creative already trafficked into market can be tricky and expensive, but AT&T can certainly afford it. So the only explanation is that decision makers there believed the public wouldn't notice or care -- and/or that the mistake (as obvious and amateurish as it is) for whatever reason wasn't worth correcting.

But if AT&T doesn't have enough respect for its brand, for its customers, and for the simple notion of owning up to your own sloppy (or otherwise corner-cutting created) mistakes, then the company really don't deserve your business. 

And as for the advertising and marketing agencies involved in creating the spot -- which include Hearts & Science, a division of Omnicom Group -- they should all be rightfully mocked for their negligence and for being complicit.

September 1, 2021

What Happened in the Physical Writer's Room?


Just to be clear, this is not a review. I don't do reviews of TV shows, movies, music or anything else creative. It's because I have far too much respect for artists and know firsthand that practically anyone can write an article, speak on a podcast, etc., about what someone else has created. It takes far more talent, discipline and courage to create something from nothing and then (if you're one of the lucky ones) put it out there for consumption and inevitable critique. So yeah, this is not a review; this is just someone wondering what happened with Physical's Annie Weisman and the other show creators/writers that would result in the series taking such drastic turns (beginning with episode 5) that it makes you wonder if the series was threatened with cancellation unless big changes took place. A quick recap:

Physical traces Sheila Rubin (Rose Byrne) a middle-aged housewife in 1980s San Diego who discovers aerobics as a source of empowerment and escape from her eating disorder, troubled marriage to a failed college professor turned politician, and everything else wrong in her life. I very much wanted to like this show having lived in San Diego, followed Rose Byrne since her American breakout role in Troy, and have deep affection for almost all things 80s -- so this premise piqued my interest and I was able to  breeze through Physical's first season in a matter of days.

But for what is billed as a "comedy/drama", Physical plays like a depressing, oftentimes enraging show that breaks one of the golden rules of storytelling -- your protagonist must elicit empathy. In other words, we have to care about, share (or at the very least, understand) the feelings of the main character. Sheila Rubin should be someone that you root for and instead, you more or less despise everything she does, everything she says, and (through an ongoing narrative device the show uses) everything she thinks as well. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is because Sheila Rubin is one of the worst people in the world -- self-serving, jealous, manipulative, negligent, two-faced, deceitful, and a bad wife and mother to boot.

Now by no means am I saying that every TV protagonist needs to be likable. There are far-worse flawed, even despicable characters that we've rooted for, despite the fact that they were drug kingpins (Breaking Bad's Walter White), crime bosses (Tony Soprano), serial killers (Dexter's Dexter Morgan) or just all around ruthless criminals (Animal Kingdom's Cody family.) But the difference is that all of these antiheroes have something redeemable about their actions and agendas. Walter White dives headlong into drug trafficking to provide for his wife, son and unborn child; Dexter's killings can be argued justifiable because he's (mostly) just offing the guilty; and Tony Soprano and the Cody's -- for all their reckless violence, murder and mayhem -- exhibit a family first trust and loyalty that's at least somewhat admirable.

In contrast, Sheila's only agenda is herself. At one point, she declares "aerobics saved me." But with every selfish, immoral decision she makes, it seems much more like the opposite is true -- aerobics didn't save Sheila; she's sold her soul for it. She's that character you love to hate -- like the WWE's Iron Sheik or J.R. Ewing from Dallas -- except unlike those two characters, it's not by design.

On the contrary, after a few episodes, shouldn't I be in Sheila's corner, earnestly hoping she actually makes something of her budding career? Shouldn't I be against all the people and circumstances standing in her way?... Instead, I'm at the point where I prefer that Sheila fail, as it becomes more and more clear what a horrible person she already is and is further becoming by the episode. What has Sheila done to deserve such contempt? Well so far she's:
  • Blackmailed her business partner Bunny...
  • Repeatedly abandoned her husband Danny and their efforts for him to win election to state legislature...
  • Cooked the books and embezzled money from the aforementioned political campaign...
  • Rationalized stealing from both her friend Greta and from an old ballet teacher...
  • Extorted money from her parents...
  • Drained the family bank account to pay for hotel rooms so she can better hide her eating disorder... 
  • Ignored her young daughter who is obviously autistic

And on top of all that, she's now about to cheat on her husband with John Breem, one of Danny's political opponents.

It begs the question, who exactly is the villain on Physical? With the exception of Breem (with his ultra-weird Mitt Romney meets Marshall Applewhite persona) you like every single other character on this show more than you like Sheila. And with every non-sequitur plot twist and character change, this becomes truer and truer.

Which brings us back to my topic sentence... What the hell happened in the writers room on this show? Because it seems like halfway through season 1, the executive producers or other highly influential persons connected to the show threw a grenade in that room and ran. It's one explanation for why (beginning with episode 5) Physical began a slew of inexplicable and extreme plot twists, awkward character expansions and gratuitous backstory reveals that would have the writers of Melrose Place cringing. Some examples:

  • The subplot of Greta's husband's fetish for shaving women's heads (and Greta -- who up to this point had been established as a conservative, mousey housewife -- surprisingly choosing to indulge her husband's freaky sexual desire.)
  • Deep diving into John Breem's ultra-stoic, hyper-religious personality and his weird personal life, including his Stepford Wives-ish spouse and family.
  • Tyler's (Bunny's surfer boyfriend) health crisis.
  • Bunny's seemingly added at the last minute backstory of having immigrated from war-torn Lebanon and being estranged from her family.
  • Sheila's revelation of being sexually abused as a child by one of her father's friends (which, I'm sorry, but at this point, is as trite a plot twist as there is.)
It's not just that all of these new elements were jammed into the show's final episodes, it's that they were introduced so clumsily, with almost no build-up or foreshadowing. Bunny has a friction-filled get together with her sister in episode 5 that comes out of nowhere. Til then, Bunny comes off as a typical soCal bottle blond who exists simply to both challenge and assist Sheila's aerobics aspirations. There's no hint at all that she's Lebanese. Not that TV characters can't be developed or have new dimensions added as a series unfolds, but after episode 5, where Bunny has that contentious meeting with her sister and they discuss how they escaped Beirut, we get zilch. We see or hear nothing else about Bunny's family drama or Lebanon for the rest of the season. 

Other plot points (Danny's infidelity; Sheila's hatred for Danny's campaign manager) are executed less awkwardly and have an appropriate slow build, so when the powder keg finally blows, it will be all the more effective in amping up the drama. But again, it's as if the show's exec producers (which include Rose Byrne) took a pause from filming and said, "Guys, we need to shake things up. How can we make the supporting characters more interesting? Believability and being true to the natures of the characters we've built to this point be damned! We need some shocking reveals and we only have five episodes left to deliver!"


And through it all, Sheila grows less and less sympathetic. The worse was in the season finale. Danny loses the election and we hear Sheila's hateful, venom-filled thoughts about him. "Cant even pull off a local election. This is what you've tied yourself to... He's just a loser; a weak pathetic loser." 

The inner monologue continues and turns into another of Sheila's frequent self-loathing sessions, as she (yet again) abandons Danny at a moment he needs her and instead heads off to the aerobics studio. The shows writers will probably tell you that the entire sequence is supposed to be a turning point in Sheila's life. She's finally "taking back her power", unhitching her wagon from dead weight, and breaking free so she can pursue her own dream and establish an identity beyond that of the faithful wife (which by the way, she has been at no point during the series.)

But that interpretation/explanation would work much better if Danny was a selfish, abusive, ungrateful asshole of a husband. Instead, apart from his dalliance with one of his former students (and maybe force-feeding Sheila a cream puff), the worst thing you can say about him is that he's overly naive and idealistic. Moreover, there are several moments where he praises his wife, calls her his muse and his rock, and declares that none of the good things happening with the campaign would be possible without her. In short, Danny is a far less flawed, far more supportive (and thus more likable) character than Sheila and I genuinely hoped he'd win the election. With Sheila, as she connives and schemes new ways to grow her aerobics business -- while simultaneously disregards her daughter walking in circles, throwing fits, and suffering from sensory overload (all classic signs of autism) -- I find myself just hoping the neighbors don't hear as I scream at the TV, "You are such an awful person! Get your daughter some help for God's sake!"

And all of this, every shortcoming this show has, is all due to bad writing and poor plotting and characterization. It makes one wonder why such obvious deficiencies weren't corrected before episodes began filming. Maybe it was because at the time Physical came across Apple +'s path, the streamer was playing catch up in the streaming wars and so badly needed content that everyone was willing to overlook the fact that the show's scripts needed doctoring. 

Or maybe it was the collective clout of Weisman and Byrne, combined with a Times Up-inspired climate that was encouraging more greenlighting of women-focused shows not only at Apple + but across the entire television landscape. 

Or maybe Apple + just likes poorly written shows. The Morning Show, another one of Apple's flagship series, suffers terribly from heavy handed dialogue and stereotypical characterizations

Oh well, on to season 2. (Because 80s!)


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July 15, 2021

Streaming Wars Update: Part 3


Here's the the third and final part of my audio blog on the streaming wars, the state of the industry and where it's headed. In this discussion I cover:
  • The history of Hulu and it's current place in the Disney bundle
  • Roku's revenue shifts from hardware to advertising after its acquisition of the Quibi content
  • AMC, studios, theater owners, and Christopher Nolan all have beef
  • The Scarlett Johanssen lawsuit
  • What the streaming industry can learn from Napster

Streaming Wars Update: Part 3


July 14, 2021

Streaming Wars Update: Part 2

The second part of my audio blog covering the current state of the streaming wars. Have a listen as I discuss:

  • Apple +'s enviable position "owning the rails"
  • CBS/Viacom's Paramount + and its need for a consolidation strategy 
  • Whether sports content could be a key differentiator to thrust one or more streamers to the top
  • How tier-based pricing and advertising are being implemented 
  • If Comcast and NBC Universal can leverage its cable platform and theme parks to market struggling latecomer Peacock (and its weird new original that conjures memories of Josie and the Pussycats in Outer Space!)

Streaming Wars Update: Part 2



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July 13, 2021

Streaming Wars in Full Effect!


Give a listen to my first "audio blog" as I take a look at what's happening in the world of streaming, trends in the industry, who the major players are, their financial outlooks and plans for the future, and all the changes affecting the entire streaming world. Here in Part 1, among other things I discuss:
  • How the pandemic ignited the streaming industry
  • The bundling of streaming apps with mobile phones, TVs and other smart devices
  • Amazon Prime, it's acquisition of MGM, and massive investment in Lord of the Rings
  • Netflix's position as first in the market
  • Disney +'s Star Wars and MCU-based platform (How many spin-offs are enough?)
  • HBO Max's controversial same-day new release strategy

Streaming Wars in Full Effect!


July 7, 2021

Beauty and the Beat turns 40

I know what I'll be listening to at the gym tomorrow... 

July 8th marks the (I cannot freakin' believe it's been that long) 40th anniversary of the release of the Go-Go's debut album, Beauty and the Beat.


I won't go into detail on the history or significance of the band or their post-punk/new wave/pop offering that rose to become the first number one album by an all-girl band. Instead, I'll let the others tell you why the album is so great and simply relate a story:

Around my freshman year of high school, when music became a much more significant part of my life, I visited Record Town with enough money to purchase my very first album. I didn't realize then, but this would be a seminal event in my life and my choices came down to Olivia Newton-John's Physical, Blondie's Parallel Lines, or Beauty and the Beat. I lingered in the store and mulled long and hard before finally choosing ONJ.

Weeks later, I did wind up buying Beauty and the Beat, making it one of the first ten or so albums I ever owned. Today I have an extensive collection of vinyl, cassettes and CDs that I cherish, and it all began with that trip to Record Town. I'm also proud to say that my three finalists that day were all albums that had major success and historical importance in popular music. 

Among other accolades, Parallel Lines was Blondie's breakthrough album, spawned six singles, was number one in the US and UK, and its single "Heart of Glass" was one of the biggest crossover hits of all time, dominating both black and white radio stations in the early months of 1979.

Physical sold over ten million copies; it's title single was number one for (a then record) ten straight weeks; and an accompanying compilation of videos for each of Physical's tracks served was one of the first ever video albums.

But back to Beauty and the Beat. It's well-produced blend of Belinda Carlisle's throaty lead vocals, group choruses and surf-rock drums and guitars, combined with infectious beats and underrated musicianship (drummer Gina Schock is a standout) set the benchmark for all-female band success on the album charts. In this regard, the album trail blazed for a number of 80's and 90's radio-friendly punk and rock artists including Green Day, Joan Jett, and The Donnas (who, ironically, went on to master the pop/punk fusion the Go-Go's originally intended but wound up straying from.) From "We Got the Beat" (a punk record disguised as dance-pop) and the power-driven "How Much More", "This Town" and "Lust to Love", to the frolicking "Our Lips Are Sealed", and the haunting lyrics and harmonies of "Fading Fast", the album is nothing short of an early 80's treasure.

To recognize Beauty and the Beat's anniversary, the band is holding a listening party that you can access through Apple Music or Spotify.

And if you've read this far and are a true Go-Go's fan, let me reward you with a rare bootleg from one of the group's early concerts.

Go-Go's: Live at the Sun Plaza Hall, Tokyo, Japan, 1982

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July 3, 2021

Just an NBA YouTube Channel Intro Video

Created this short video as an intro for Kaleb Conti's YouTube channel -- which is dedicated to discussing the NBA. Started with the opening of the old Kurtis Blow jam "Basketball", added a drum beat and just took it from there.

 

June 10, 2021

New Original Mashup - Cher vs B.o.B "Gypsys Tramps & Magic"

I have no idea what inspired this but I was showering one day last month and it just came to me that Cher's jangly ballad from 1971, "Gypsys, Tramps & Thieves", would blend well with B.o.B's pulsing, singalong/rap hit "Magic" from his debut album, The Adventures of Bobby Ray. Ostensibly, the two tunes couldn't seem more disparate. They were released almost 40 years apart, and while Cher's song paints a melancholy portrait of racism, teen pregnancy and prostitution, B.o.B's track is an irresistible hunk of ear candy and the perfect jam for karaoke or singing into the mirror.

And though I'm not a deejay, sound engineer or music producer, I just couldn't shake the remix I had in my head, so I figured I'd give this mashup a try. A bit of warning, it starts a little rough but gets better and better as it goes. 

Enjoy.

May 15, 2021

The Greatest Softcore Actresses of the Home Video Era

Sexual content in film has been a part of cinema since the earliest days of the medium -- from 1896's Le Coucher de la Mariée (which depicted a bride removing her clothes on her wedding night), to the underground films produced in Austria and Argentina in the early 20th century, to the blue movies that proliferated in America beginning in the 1920's. But in the 1970's an evolution took place in the way sex was depicted onscreen. Better, more attractive acting talent, an emphasis on story, and higher production values were added to the mix in features like the Emmanuelle series, which gained worldwide popularity and big box office returns. France, Germany and Italy in particular rushed to the forefront of producing what was now formally referred to as "softcore films", which focused on content that was suggestive and erotic -- but still less explicit than what was found in hardcore pornography. Soon after, thanks to the home video boom of the 80's and 90's, softcore entered its heyday. Freed from restrictions imposed by the MPAA, theater owners and other governing bodies, film companies across the globe freely produced and marketed softcore films (in every genre), skipped theaters and released their movies straight to home video and on-demand outlets. Showtime, Cinemax, Playboy TV and other cable channels similarly thrived on this content. In the process, a new generation of female stars rose to prominence and became some of the most recognized and popular faces in the softcore film industry. Here's a list of the Top 10 Softcore Actresses of the Home Video Era.

Shannon Tweed

After winning Playboy’s Playmate of the Year in 1982, Tweed transitioned into acting and became queen of the straight-to-DVD erotic thriller with performances in some of the genre's earliest softcore entries like Night Eyes 2 & 3, Scorned and Indecent Behavior.

Tane McClure

If anyone could challenge Shannon Tweed’s claim as queen of softcore, it just might be her full-lipped lookalike McClure. Tane actually has an impressive filmography apart from softcore. Still, it’s her roles in Lap Dancing, Illicit Dreams, Sexual Roulette and the like for which she’ll always be best known.

Maria Ford

Though virtually unrecognizable today due to extensive cosmetic surgery, Ford had a long softcore career dating back to the late 1980's with films like Stripped to Kill 2. She would hit her peak in 1999 when she starred in the ultra-hot I Like to Play Games Too and The Key to Sex.

Beverly Lynne

Appearance-wise, Lynne was pretty average in both face and figure, but she makes this list due to the sheer volume of softcore films and series she appeared in, including The Erotic Dreams of Jeannie, Busty Housewives of Beverly Hills, Black Tie Nights, and Playboy’s Sexy Urban Legends. Lynne also starred in a crap ton of softcore's infamous “bikini” titles like Bikini Chain Gang, Bikini Royale 1 & 2, Bikini Avengers, and The Bikini Escort Company.

Monique Parent

In the 90's, the fair-skinned, red-haired Parent was a classic beauty with a fit, naturally proportioned figure. She came off classy and refined in many of her roles, which included Play Time in the mid 90's along with the dopey The Witches of Breastwick and The Breastford Wives a decade later. Today, Monique is a silver-haired fox with a popular YouTube channel where she offers makeup and beauty tips for aging gracefully. 


Taimie Hannum

Taking everything into account -- looks, figure, steamy performances, etc. -- Taimie might very well get the nod as the greatest of all time. The sultry brunette performed in pretty much every genre of softcore out there, including thrillers (Secret Pleasures), sci-fi (Pleasurecraft), and parodies (Alabama Jones and the Busty Crusade.) She also had a number of memorable one-off appearances in adult anthology series like Kama Sutra and Erotic Confessions.


Julie Strain

The six-foot buxom Strain appeared in Playboy and was also a Penthouse Pet of the Year. Her resume includes T&A filled action pics like Fit to Kill and Day of the Warrior, along with typical softcore fare like 1995’s Night Visions, 1998’s Masseuse III, and she also starred as the titular (no pun intended) character in the Bare Wench Project trilogy.


Tamara Landry

Landry excelled in roles as seductive, sexually aggressive characters in films like Animal Attraction, Carnal Desire and Wicked Pleasures.


Nikki Fritz

Tall, leggy Nikki Fritz flat out had one of best bodies ever seen (sans clothing) onscreen. Surrender Cinema was at the forefront of 90's softcore and Nikki was one of that company’s biggest stars. Sadly, she passed away in 2020 but will always be known for Nightcap, Hidden Beauties, The Exotic Time Machine, and her positively scorching work (with Julia Ann) in Veronica 2030.


Kira Reed

Petite and prolific, Reed's most notable work includes Beverly Hills Bordello, The Price of Desire, Fast Lane to Mailbu, and the Sex Files: Alien Erotica series.


Honorable Mentions:

Gabriella Hall
Lauren Hays
Kim Yates
Griffin Drew
Shauna O’Brien
Julie K. Smith
Landon Hall


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In Redefining the Erotic Thriller Basic Instinct Also Changed the Face of Home Video