Pop Culture Fiend Handicaps Dancing with the Stars

Drop everything, read this, then get your bet down. (No joke, there's a legitimate line for this in Vegas.) The Pop Culture Fiend has studied, broken it down and come up with the odds for this season's DWTS contestants:

Lawrence Taylor (retired football star) – Maybe because they're so used to repetitive training and using their entire bodies, but athletes in general and football players in particular (Jerry Rice, Emmitt Smith, Warren Sapp) always do well on this show. LT's also got personality, a great smile and experience in front of the camera. Odds: 4-1

Nancy O’Dell – Dropped out due to injury.

Jewel – Dropped out due to injury.

Holly Madison (Playboy model, reality TV star) - Madison comes to this competition straight off a collapsed reality show. She’s in this largely to remain in the spotlight and improve her Q-rating, but as a late replacement for Jewel, she's had less practice time and is at a distinct disadvantage. Odds: 15-1

Ty Murray (rodeo star) – When his wife Jewel dropped out due to injury, Murray’s chances went right with her. The novelty of seeing he and his wife competing against one another is now gone and Murray has zero name recognition on his own, thereby placing him near the bottom in terms of fan favorites. Odds: 40-1

David Alan Grier (actor-comedian) – Funny guys (Adam Carolla, Jeff Ross) don’t usually do well on DWTS. But Grier was recently on Carolla's radio show and seemed like he was taking this competition pretty seriously. Call it a hunch but we have him as our best longshot. Odds: 10-1

Gilles Marini (actor) – Okay, I never watched Sex in the City so have no idea who this guy is. I know he’s French (maybe that’ll help him?) and his partner is two-time winner Cheryl Burke, who may be the best of all the professionals. Odds: 8-1

Steve-O (reality TV star) – First off, great pick by the DWTS producers. Steve-O's irreverent personality has the potential to really liven up the show and also pull in an entirely new demographic of viewers. But even though he’s paired with Lacey, one of my new favorite dancer, we doubt Steve-O can dance or is interested in putting forth the effort needed to win. Odds: 35-1

Lil’ Kim (recording artist) – Just a quick side note: Lil' Kim was on one of the entertainment shows the other day, and she has had so much cosmetic surgery on her face and her body, she’s virtually unrecognizable from when she first started out in the rap game. Nevertheless, Kim's a performer who seems to love being back in the spotlight. It'll be interesting to see how she’ll click with her partner Derek Hough. Odds: 12-1

Shawn Johnson (gymnast) – The multi-medal winning Olympian has a lot going for her. She’s cute, used to competing, and her gymnastics background gives her all the athleticism, conditioning, discipline, balance and grace she needs to win. It’s all just a question of how well everything translates to the dance floor. Any way you slice it, she’s  the favorite and a lock to make the top three. Odds: 3-1

Chuck Wicks (country singer) – Word is, Wicks has been dating Julianne Hough for awhile (the two opened for Brad Paisley on his last tour.) Hough, it seems, had made up her mind not to return to the show this season but was talked into staying because the producers agreed to have Wicks as a contestant and then pair the couple up. Julianne’s another of our favorites and she’ll no doubt pull out all the stops to get her and Wicks through each week. Even so, we say this duo's dancing (and their relationship) will both be over quickly. Odds: 10-1

Denise Richards (actress) – After running off with her friend Heather Locklear’s husband (Bon Jovi guitarist, Richie Sambora) Richards runs the risk of being unpopular among women viewers. She’ll need to not only dance well but also make nice with everyone in order to repair her image as a man-stealer and make it through. Odds: 8-1

Belinda Carlisle (singer) – Not only is she 50, but the Go-Go’s singer came off as somewhat indifferent in previous reality show appearances on Who Wants to be a Millionaire and Celebrity Duets. Belinda will have to curb any apathy, be really engaging, and show a lot of personality to last even through the first few weeks. Odds: 25-1

Steve Wozniak (co-founder of Apple) – He’s a gregarious guy but has too much girth and too little name recognition.
Odds: 50-1