July 17, 2023

Explaining to an Alien How Humans Brush Their Teeth


… So long story short, a prospective employer asked me to take a writing assessment. 

It's for a gig as a freelance marketing writer for an “undisclosed” company. Now this assessment was pretty involved and required me to complete several exercises with both short and long form responses. It was also clear that I would have to conduct research and do some serious strategizing before formulating my answers. Here's an example of what I'm talking about:

A local hair salon wants to run Facebook ads for the Christmas holiday season. They're offering 10% off gift cards that can be used at the salon. Their goal is to retarget potential customers who have visited their website. Their target audience is women ages 18-65 years old. What is your recommended ad copy for their remarketing campaign?

See what I mean?... Serious stuff.

So I get all the way through the assessment to the final exercise and I get this weird curve ball thrown at me that I'm not even sure is for real – maybe it's just a joke or maybe they're trying to see how I would handle an assignment for something way out-of-the-box?... Anyway, this was it:

We're aliens from another planet who have just landed on earth. We understand the English language, but many human activities and normal routines are foreign to us. We also consume food the way butterflies do, so we don't have teeth. To the best of your ability, please help us understand the average human's routine for brushing one's teeth.

I was both annoyed and amused that they asked for this – so much so that I absolutely could not resist having some fun and giving it back to this company in spades. So check it out below -- my response to how I would explain to an alien how humans brush their teeth:

Greetings aliens. How ya doing? Thanks for coming all the way across the galaxy for this. 

Today I'm going to explain to you how to brush your teeth. Teeth, by the way, are these things we humans have in our mouths that cut, mash and pulverize the food we consume before we ingest it. It's important to remember that if we don't brush our teeth, they will decay, rot and fall out -- and then we'd have no way to eat corn on the cob, Tootsie Rolls or Wendy's Baconators -- so you can see why this is so critical. Okay, here we go!

First, we move to an area of the home we call the "bathroom sink." We then turn a handle to start a flow of running water. Hey, did I mention that before we enter the bathroom we should really knock first because someone else could be in there giving themselves a bikini wax or a coffee enema or God knows what.

So to brush our teeth, we begin by squirting this gel-like substance (called "toothpaste") out of this tube onto this short stick with bristles on the end that we call a "toothbrush." We apply enough gel to cover the bristles and then rub the brush back and forth, and up and down on our teeth. (We're told by our experts here on earth to use a circular motion when we do this but trust me, it makes absolutely no difference whatsoever.)

Now periodically, as we are brushing, liquid will build up in our mouths until it's full. When that happens we go ahead and spit out the liquid/toothpaste build up. We try to make sure that it goes in the sink and down the drain because if it doesn't and the mess just lies there, our wives will yell at us.

Next, we add more toothpaste and repeat the brushing process. The experts here on earth (a sadistic group of men and women we call "dentists") say you should brush for about two minutes. That's really just kind of a loose rule though because sometimes you're running late for work or you just want to brush really quickly because you had Italian for dinner and you want to get that garlic taste out of your mouth so you can make out with your girlfriend.

Okay, almost done. After we've completed the brushing (and spitting) it's time to "rinse." So what we do is we take our hand and we cup it so we can catch some of the running water in it. By the way, I forgot to mention that the water should ALWAYS be running. Sure, we could turn the faucet handle and only run the water when we need to -- but we're just stupid, lazy humans and destroying our planet by wasting all that water is a lot easier.

We then slurp the cupped handful of water into our mouths and swish it around for a few seconds. Now we spit the liquid out. (Yes, more spitting. Aren't we humans disgusting?) Then we look in the mirror and admire the great job we did by smiling at ourselves. (Maybe even give ourselves a sexy wink because dammit, we deserve it!)  

Lastly, we always leave the toothbrush on the sink and NOT in the toothbrush holder because moving it that extra 12 inches is just way too much work. 

And that's how humans brush their teeth! Tomorrow will be your next lesson... "How to take a dump."

No bullshit, this is what I replied with and sent back.

As I read it back now, it reminds me of this scene in Sleeper, where Miles Monroe (Woody Allen) comes out of a cryogenic freeze in the year 2173 and is asked by scientists to identify the people in a series of photographs from the 20th century. Miles' deadpan explanations are hilarious as he gives his take on everyone from Joseph Stalin to Bela Lugosi. 

July 8, 2023

A Deep Dive into Barry Allen's Speed: Exactly How Fast is The Flash?


With the recent release of the new movie The Flash, I've found myself pondering the iconic character, his bio, as well as his powers and abilities -- in particular, how fast he's portrayed to be. When it comes to comic book heroes and their superpowers, this sort of speculation is common and makes for great geek debate. But it's worth noting that the Flash character has undergone a good deal of retconning over the years. In addition, the recently concluded WB “Arrowverse” TV series The Flash has greatly added to and confused Flash's mythology, sometimes even venturing into storytelling that deviates from canon. So for this article, I chose to go back and look at the DC Comics Flash and bring to light references to the speed of this earlier version of the character. To help with this I dug into the Pop Culture Fiend Archives and my stash of DC comics from my youth. 

To begin, it's important to remember that 1956-1970 was the "Silver Age of Comics" and 1970-1985 (a timeframe that encompasses my aforementioned collection) the so-called “Bronze Age". The Flash from these two eras is none other than Barry Allen, a Central City police scientist who gained his super speed via an accident in which he's accidentally doused with a mix of chemicals after a lightning strike in his lab (more on this later.) This iteration of the Flash is widely considered to be the definitive version of the character – moreso than Jay Garrick, the original Flash created by Gardner Fox in the 1940's, and also more than Wally West, who began as Kid Flash before later succeeding Barry. The Barry Allen version is also the Flash appearing and/or referenced in the new Flash movie, the aforementioned Arrowverse series, 2017's Justice League and other “Snyderverse” DC pics, as well as several recent video games based on the DC Universe like Justice League Heroes and the Injustice series. So there's no question that when looking to determine how fast "The Flash" is, it's best to begin with Barry Allen, as this is the version who appears the most across all of pop culture.


So with Barry as the focus, when you examine his history and look for references in the comics about his speed, you discover a lot of inconsistency. Early Silver Age issues make a big deal about Barry running on water (something by the way, that would be scientifically possible for a human running even as "slow" as 50 mph) as well as overcoming gravity by running up the sides of  buildings. On the higher end of the scale, we see Silver Age Flash breaking the sound barrier. Comic book writers magnifying each of these specific exploits made a lot of sense at the time. In the 50's and 60's, rocket technology, jet engines, Chuck Yeager going Mach 1, etc., represented the outer reaches of what humans could achieve -- so an “ordinary man" gaining powers to match these types of things was superhuman enough for the comics. (It's very similar to the way Superman, around the same time, was heralded for being "more powerful than a locomotive.") But as we moved into the 1970's and travel faster than sound became so routine that even commercial airlines offered it, the limits of Flash's speed predictably creeped up and his exploits (as we'll see) became more fantastical. 

As Barry carried on through the Silver and Bronze Ages, his extraordinary speed resulted in cool new powers, like the ability to generate mini tornadoes and even time travel. (In the comics, this sometimes -- but not always -- occurs through a combination of Flash's otherworldly speed and a device known as the "cosmic treadmill", which was first introduced in 1961's The Flash #125.) Now follow me here: the speed of light has been calculated since at least the 17th century and in 1905 Albert Einstein theorized time dilation -- the idea that time passes more slowly for objects moving at high speeds and that this effect becomes more pronounced as the object approaches the speed of light. Further theorizing maintains that if a person could actually reach the speed of light, time would in fact stop relative to that individual. So if Silver Age Flash writers like Fox and John Broome knew all this, than by having Barry run so fast that he travels back in time, were they implying that Barry could move faster than the speed of light?...  It's entirely feasible, likely even, that the creative talents at DC were keenly aware of Einstein and his theories. He was, in fact, quite well known and heralded at the time of his death, which was only a year before the Barry Allen character was created. Is it crazy to think that the creators of a fictional character possessing super speed would use Einstein's thoughts on light speed as background and inspirational material for stories about the "fastest man alive?" It's worth noting that the concept of time dilation (i.e., time slowing down and potentially stopping as you approach the speed of light) has been incorporated into Flash comics and TV portrayals over the years, so it seems that at least some Flash writers familiarized themselves with the scientific implications of superspeed and used them to make the Flash and his flirtations with light speed more credible and "realistic." Silver Age Flash comics were also the first to recount incidents of Barry vibrating his molecules so quickly he's able to pass through walls and solid objects. Mastery of his body down to this molecular level is what enables what is arguably Barry’s most notable superpower --- traveling to other universes. This occurs in numerous Flash tales beginning with #123 Flash of Two Worlds. 


Flash's speed has even been defined via comparisons to Superman and in the pages of various DC titles the two have actually raced several times. Many of these head-to-heads were interrupted by emergencies of some sort but the record shows that Barry has bested Kal-El in the vast majority of their matchups. I bring this up because as I painstakingly poured through the history of Barry Allen’s Flash for references to precisely how fast he can run, I happened across a discussion of Superman vs. Flash that actually quantified the latter’s speed quite conclusively. Specifically, within my Justice League of America issues, I recalled an item in the "JLA Mailbag" (a monthly Q&A with DC's editorial staff that appeared at the back of many issues during the late 70's) where a reader asks how fast the Flash can run around the earth. The rather definitive answer given is that while fellow JLA member Superman can fly around the entire earth in about one second, the Flash can run around the earth in 1/10 (.10) of a second. With the circumference of the earth being approximately 25,000 miles, this means the Flash can travel 250,000 miles per second – about 33% FASTER than the speed of light. Extrapolating further, we get a measurement of Flash's speed of 15,000,000 miles per minute and a whopping 90,000,000 miles per hour! This 90,000,000 mph figure represents the highest quantification of Barry's speed during the Silver or Bronze Ages. It is not, however, faster than Modern Age Barry Allen. I'll explain...


For DC, the Bronze Age ended with 1985's Crisis on Infinite Earths in which DC's "multiverse" was eliminated in favor of a single Earth and the entire DC universe was neatly consolidated. The fallout from this was particularly impactful for the Flash because in Crisis on Infinite Earths #8 Barry Allen dies as a result of running so fast and with such intensity that he literally disintegrates. At the same time, to maintain consistency, The Flash comic was canceled. When it was brought back shorty after, Wally West became the new Flash until Barry's return in 2009's Flash: Rebirth. When Barry returns, he is notably faster than he was during his original run through DC's Silver and Bronze Age comics. This is significant because the explanation provided in Rebirth for Barry's absence for more than 20 years is that he wasn't actually dead but rather that he became one with (and/or was trapped in) the Speed Force. 


So now we have to take another step back...


The Speed Force is an energized plane of existence from which DC's "speedsters" draw power. Modern issues of The Flash, the WB series, the new movie, and every other modern take on the Flash include the Speed Force as part of the character's lore. It was introduced, in part, to address and/or resolve questions regarding the anatomical damage a human body would most certainly suffer by running at such incomprehensible speeds. The Speed Force puts a powerful aura around whoever is tapping into it, thereby protecting them from speed-related friction, G-forces, etc. In other words, the Speed Force explains why Flash's costume (and skin) don't tear off... how he's able to see and hear while he runs... and why he doesn't constantly cause sonic booms. 


But the Speed Force is much more than just a protective barrier. It’s also a cosmic realm speedsters can use to travel anywhere in space and time. Those deft or experienced with the Speed Force can enter it and exit anywhere they like. Those not so skilled can get trapped and lost in the Speed Force indefinitely.


But here's the thing... The Speed Force was never a part of the Flash's original lore... Not even close. The first reference to it occurs in 1994 in The Flash #91 written by Mark Waid. He and other Flash writers, including Grant Morrison and Geoff Johns, through their stories, established the Speed Force as an integral part of the Flash's mythology moving forward and also retroactively applied it to Barry Allen's history, along with Jay Garrick's, and well, all other speedsters (good and evil) who ever existed in the DC universe. 


This means that Barry's speed and all of his speed-related past deeds, including time travel, are now explained as being made possible by the existence of the Speed Force. Johns, in Flash: Rebirth even took things a step further by explaining that Barry actually created the Speed Force himself when the lightning bolt struck him in his lab. Once that happened, the Speed Force began expanding in time and space to empower all speedsters before and after Barry. (This origin, however, has been contradicted multiple times and it's now generally accepted that the Speed Force has always existed.) Still, as confusing as its origin may be, the main thing to know about the Speed Force is that it essentially removed all limits to how fast the Flash can travel, up to and including light speed and even beyond.



Modern Age DC comics back this up.  JLA Vol 1. #89 begins with Wally West outrunning a nuclear explosion to save a city of 532,000 people by carrying each inhabitant (1-2 at a time the comic tells us) 35 miles away to safety until every single person is evacuated. Wally does this in .00001 microseconds. I was told there'd be no math but I'm told this equates to a speed of roughly 13 trillion times the speed of light. (But again, that was Wally West and this article is about how fast the definitive Flash, Barry Allen, is.)


Upon Barry's "rebirth" he too demonstrates enhanced speed and performs feats infinitely more impressive than he ever had previously, including running in the sky. It seems the "new" Barry is more dialed into and able to draw more power from the Speed Force than most other speedsters apart from Wally West. This results in a vast increase in Barry's top speed during the Modern Age. And it's precisely because the existence of the Speed Force has been retconned into Barry's history, there are presumably no limits to how fast he potentially could have been during the Silver and Bronze Ages either. Looking at it this way neatly reconciles and gives more credibility to the 90,000,000 mph attestation by the DC editorial staff I identified earlier.



In the end, we know this is the world of comics, which is rife with inconsistencies, contradictions and countermanding in matters relating to both character bios and storylines. Arguably, it's Wally who has proved most adept at marshalling the Speed Force and usurping its power to reach new limits but Barry too has used the Speed Force to reach incomprehensible speeds. Depending on how much he's able to tap into it, he has unlimited speed -- faster than light, faster than thought, faster than death, faster than time... He's even fast enough to live an all-encompassing, entirely instantaneous existence... 


So yeah, he's pretty freaking fast.


July 6, 2023

Dick, Jason, Tim or Damian... Which Robin is Batman's Best Partner?


Throughout his close to ninety year run in the comics, Batman has managed to best nearly every adversary he's ever faced. When he has suffered defeat (at the hands of Bane, Lady Shiva and a handful of others) it's often because he went it alone without the help of his faithful companion Robin. With Robin by his side, Batman is a far more formidable and exponentially greater crime fighting force -- but this begs the question, which Robin is the best partner for the Dark Knight? Some might choose the ingenious Tim Drake; others might say Damian Wayne with his superior fighting prowess, or even the ruthless, whatever-it-takes-to-win Jason Todd. Arguments can be made for all but the most well-rounded and suitable sidekick for Batman has proven to be the one and only Boy Wonder, Dick Grayson.

Dick is the epitome of everything Robin is supposed to be and from the very beginning, Bruce Wayne connects with Dick in ways he never did with any other Robin. This began with Bruce taking Dick in and making him his ward after his parents were murdered. Bruce's parents were similarly killed by criminals, resulting in a tragic but unique bond the two share over the course of their lives. More significantly, as Dick's guardian and mentor, what is it that Bruce wants most for his young charge?... The same thing any father (or in this case, surrogate father) would want – for him to grow, thrive, succeed, and eventually stand on his own two feet. Through his long term evolution as Robin, his leadership role in the Teen Titans and his subsequent new identity as Nightwing. Dick accomplishes this quite profoundly, all the while mirroring Batman's greatest virtues – shrewd crime solving, unquestioned bravery, mastery of martial arts, and an unrelenting need to bring criminals to justice. In contrast, during his run as Robin, the rebellious Jason is the proverbial “problem child” who demonstrates Bruce's worst qualities – violence, anger, and a sometimes disturbing brutality when dealing with his foes. Eventually, Jason becomes Red Hood, an antihero who acts with a type of callousness and vigilantism that Bruce struggles his whole career to keep suppressed.

Damian Wayne's Robin has similar character flaws. Cocky, spoiled, entitled, and (like Jason) violent to the point of murder, he was genetically engineered, grown in an artificial womb and trained to be a killing machine by the League of Assassins. Bruce had no influence on him during his crucial formative years and in fact, doesn't even learn of Damian's existence (his birth was kept hidden by his mother) until he's ten years old. By then it's too late, as Damian's self-importance, hostility, and borderline sociopathy preclude him from bonding with Bruce in ways similar to Dick.

Dick is also the one who keeps Bruce connected to his humanity. Apart from Alfred, Dick represents the closest thing to family that Bruce has. Yes, technically Damian is Bruce's biological son, but he was bio-engineered and raised and trained by others. Tim Drake also came to Bruce nearly fully-formed, having rigorously trained himself in physical combat, detective work, scholastics, etc. Dick, on the other hand, came to Bruce as a piece of clay – ready and willing to be molded into the ideal protege and crime-fighting partner. Along the way, he becomes a stabilizing force in Bruce's life, drawing him back from the brooding, darkest sides of himself and preventing him from becoming a heartless, criminal-bashing brute.

Finally, it's worth noting that Tim Drake himself, in Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying, astutely and succinctly declares, “Batman needs a Robin.” What makes this even more profound is that Tim says this to none other than Dick Grayson, as he's beseeching him to rejoin a Bruce who is wrestling with demons after Jason Todd's death. This shows that even Tim himself understands that Dick is fundamentally the truest Robin... and the best partner Batman ever had.

June 18, 2023

Hollywood Writers' Stance on AI is Short Sighted, Reveals Disingenuousness and Fear of Technology

When considering the Hollywood writer’s strike and what the WGA is asking for in its negotiations with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP), one issue resonates above all others -- the writers’ motivations and questionable stance regarding artificial intelligence and the role it could come to play in TV and film writing. Artificial intelligence (AI) and language models have arguably been the single hottest topic in the world of technology since ChatGPT was introduced by research laboratory OpenAI last November. This new iteration of ChatGPT is far more advanced, sophisticated and human-like than any AI or chatbot ever deployed to this point. Wired magazine, for its part, can’t seem to cover this topic enough and for the past 2-3 months it's seemed like every other article the tech pub spits out is about ChatGPT. But as far as the Hollywood writers go, it seems they're showing concern that AI is becoming so sophisticated and powerful that it could theoretically replace and do part (or perhaps one day soon, all) of the job of a guild writer. The WGA is thus calling for studios to “regulate” or otherwise severely limit the use of AI in the writing process, as well as abstain from asking writers to edit or rewrite material written by AI.

Part of the rationale behind the writers' hard stance is their belief that AI-generated work could never approach the prowess and richness that a human writer brings. Currently, this seems largely true. As of this writing, artificial intelligence can compose everything from haikus, to term papers, to sketches, and even more -- but the general belief is that the results lack “spark”, “humanity” and “flair” and, though serviceable, are not remarkable enough to move forward without considerable rewriting... At least that’s as of now.

One of the most valuable traits of AI and ChatGPT in particular, is that it’s constantly learning and improving, as it culls from innumerable sources to hone it’s responses and better fulfill the conversational, research, authorship or other task it's been assigned. ChatGPT is also great at mimicking. So, for instance, you can ask it to write song lyrics in a distinctive style — say, that of Prince… or The Ramones… or Morrissey —- and it could do so. Similarly, when it comes to TV and film writing, ChatGPT could potentially be asked to imitate an Aaron Sorkin or a young Woody Allen. The quality of the result, as of now, may be questionable but as soon as six months, a year, two years from now, imagine how much better they'll be. Indeed, ChatGPT has already been estimated to have a verbal IQ of 155 and has passed both medical boards and the bar exam, so just think what it could be accomplishing in the near future.

This is where the WGA has shown the most concern. Similar to how it negotiated during the 2007-08 writer’s strike to install guardrails protecting against diminished perceived value of the writer as a result of industry changes brought about by the internet and streaming, so too are the writers now looking to negotiate to keep their value strong as AI makes its way into the writing industry. However, on this specific issue, despite its stated intentions, there’s a good deal of false nobility and short-sightedness  operating within the WGA.

The guild justifies the strike in general (and the demand for negotiation regarding AI specifically) by claiming that it's seeking to secure fair consideration and compensation for current industry writers, while also ensuring opportunity for the next generation… It’s a half truth. In reality, what the writers are really worried about is their own jobs. The entirety of the pushback against AI is not for the benefit of the next generation of writers, but for the financial security of the current one. They’re worried about a day when a production exec fires up their laptop, starts a conversation with ChatGPT, throws out a premise, a few character descriptions and plot points and then lets AI go to work cranking out a complete pilot. In the WGA's eyes that’s a worst-case scenario. There’s also one where AI does all the heavy lifting (e.g., developing the plot, the characters, and perhaps an initial treatment) and then a human writer is brought in to work with the result by developing, punching up, and polishing it into something more usable. Revisions like this earn fees much lower than commissioned first drafts or even spec scripts. The writers are worried that if AI proves up to it, we could be looking at a world where (for instance) an entire season of an hour long drama could be outlined in an afternoon — and at a cost of zero dollars. That possibility scares the pants off every single writer in the WGA, as evidenced by the words of C. Robert Cargill (writer of Dr. Strange, Sinister, and The Black Phone) who weeks ago tweeted, "The immediate fear of AI isn’t that us writers will have our work replaced by artificially generated content. It’s that we will be underpaid to rewrite that trash into something we could have done better from the start."

There are two things wrong with this way of thinking. First, it pre-supposes that anything AI produces is in fact vastly inferior (i.e., "trash".) How does Cargill (or anyone else) know that AI won't soon be entirely capable of cranking out a perfectly acceptable first draft?... It's emblematic of the type of arrogance that exists among paid, high-level Hollywood writers. Is it crazy to think that any intelligence capable of scoring 710/800 on SAT verbal, has enough mastery of the English language to handle a creative writing assignment?... The rub would be how much imagination, creativity, and personal style would be applied. But this is true of work created by humans as well. After all, it's already been posited that when it comes to storytelling, there are only 4 types of conflict and 7 basic plots -- everything else is just variations on a formula. Cargill makes it sound like he and his guild brethren alone are capable of gold standard work. On the contrary, the WGA is full of mediocre and pedestrian writers and the creative output of these and every other writer is, and always will be, judged with a good deal of subjectivity. For example, one decision-maker may deem a script a funny, imaginative take on a standard theme, while the next might dismiss it as too derivative and only mildly amusing. So it's the same with AI as it is with human writers. Whether it's a line of dialogue, premise, story arc, full screenplay, etc., the final result is always subject to criticism and being dismissed as "trash".

Also consider that not every Hollywood writer is working on  Succession, Breaking BadEverything Everywhere All at Once, or other top-notch entertainmentLess ambitious productions -- children's shows like Paw Patrol and Blues Clues have writersSo does Syfy channel schlock like the Sharktopus movies and dopey theatrical features like Cocaine Bear. Game and quiz shows like Jeopardy and The Wall employ writers to create the contestant questions, and tons of entertainment and other segmented shows have writers penning "wraparounds" and RPG video game makers need storylines for the campaigns of their games. Is the WGA so haughty it thinks AI can't handle writing things of this far less demanding ilk?... 

Also at the root of the WGA's objection to AI is a fear of competition. When the guild loudly protests against AI and declares it's protecting the futures of up and coming writers, it’s just posturing and PR. The WGA is in fact a select (fewer than 13,000 members) elitist group that has always sought to keep its numbers small — if for no other reason than to ensure more opportunity (i.e., writing gigs) for their own. Think about it, if the WGA is so concerned about paving the way and ensuring opportunity for new writers, why does it direct its members never to accept or read unsolicited material from aspiring writers who might be seeking advice or mentorship? (Hint: it's not solely to guard against potential claims of stolen IP...) Why does it restrict membership only to writers who have been paid or sold something?… Why doesn't it offer meaningful mentorship or internship programs to unknowns?… It's because the WGA is designed to keep wannabes out, not help them break in. They don’t want expansion of their club; they want it exclusive, with power consolidated and jobs and paychecks reserved for them, the few. Though the political leanings of their individual members may lean left, when it comes to the nuts and bolts of how the guild operates, it’s decidedly under the worst type of conservative principles — protect what you’ve worked for; no assistance for outsiders. Knowing their reluctance to include, aid or even compete with other human writers makes it even easier to see why the guild is so threatened by machine intelligence. This type of defensive, resistant stance arises every time a disrupting technology comes along. The WGA are candlemakers cursing Edison's invention. Streetcar makers railing against Henry Ford's Model T. 

Other technologies feared as job/business-killers when they were first introduced include radio, computers, robotics and television, which many claimed would ruin the movie industry. The VCR was accused of being a copyright-infringing invention and Sony (developers of Betamax video tape recording) was sued by the movie industry, resulting in the landmark Sony Corp. of America v. Universal City Studios, Inc. decision that ultimately allowed home video recording to proceed and proliferate. Ironically, the movie industry benefited because by the very next year, home video sales were about the same as box office revenue -- and by 1995 more than half of Hollywood's American revenue came from home video, compared to less than a quarter from movie theaters. 

In nearly every instance, "offending" technologies simply cannot be held back and doom-predictors are forced to watch as the world simply adapts. For example, during the 1980's robotics (as many feared) did replace a large volume of factory workers. But this was offset to some degree by new jobs that were created for people to build, program and maintain robotic systems and equipment. But the larger point is that technological advancement always moves forward. Today, every major factory and manufacturing facility in the world uses robotics simply because it's a faster, more efficient, and more affordable way to do things

Here's perhaps the best example of fear of technology and the futility of it. When the MP3 was introduced back in 1990’s (and soon after peer-to-peer file sharing via the internet) what was the response of the music industry?… Panic, resistance, and litigation. Music companies took both purveyors of peer-to-peer technology to court. At the same time, they bullied (via injunctions, subpoenas and other court orders) ISPs into turning over the names of people who had downloaded copyrighted music, cherry picked handfuls and sued them. In some instances, it was unknowing parents of offending teenagers who were slapped with lawsuits. Meanwhile, heavy metal group Metallica also sued and then loudly raged against its own fans, labeling them criminals for "stealing music." Facing months, if not years, of costly litigation, Napster, which at the time stood at the forefront of peer-to-peer file sharing technology, was forced to shutter its operations. 


But once again attempts to suppress technology through lawsuits and other means failed. When Napster shut down, dozens of similar peer-to peer-companies and apps sprung up to take its place, including Grokster, Bearshare, LimeWire and Kazaa. At the same time, Demonoid, Pirate Bay and other torrent sites saw heavy user increase. Most of these companies were similarly targeted, sued and shut down — but not before ducking and dodging the music companies’ cease and desist orders long enough to contribute to the massive proliferation of music sharing worldwide. Looking back, a whirlwind of wrath, acrimony and confusion was born of the simple fact that music companies believed a new technology lessened their power and threatened their livelihood. And yes, it was true; thanks to peer-to-peer, music lovers suddenly had the power to listen before they bought -- or circumvent buying altogether and download a song (or an entire an album) in just a few seconds. Instead of sharing an album by burning CDs for their friends, they could (in seconds) instantly send a copy of that same album to literally anyone in the world. It was the power the new technology provided. It now existed -- and there was no going back.


Now what the Hollywood writers need to understand is that the impasse between the music industry and peer-to-peer tech didn't begin to get resolved until music companies focused less on protesting, resisting and hiring lawyers, and instead got down to the hard work of establishing new business models that figured out ways to exist alongside peer-to-peer and provide alternatives that gave consumers some of the same benefits the technology provided -- while still protecting artists, their copyrights and intellectual property. In other words, things were resolved only when the establishment, instead of working to limit the use of technology, acknowledged and built new strategies to remain relevant, necessary and preferable in the face of it. The result was iTunes, which gave music companies a distribution service that consumers could use to legally purchase music so artists and labels could be properly compensated. Did this solve the issue entirely?…  Of course not. “Pirating” music remains a problem even to this day -- but iTunes (which evolved into Apple Music) and the rapid development of music streaming services like Spotify and Pandora only cane about with the acceptance, support and investment of the music industry. 



The same thing needs to happen with AI and the WGA. Instead of asking for promises that have zero chance of being kept -- like AI-produced work never being used as source material (how could anyone ever be sure if something was written by AI or not?) -- the guild should accept AI and look to leverage it in ways that enhance but in no way replace the human writer. Is anyone at this point entirely sure what those ways are?... No. AI applied to writing and the creative world is still much too new. But once fear is put aside things tend to get figured out. 


The Hollywood writers have to understand that AI is a lot like Cliff Notes. When it comes to literature, Cliff Notes are in no way the equal of reading the book itself but, as millions of high school and college students can attest, they are still extremely helpful as a guide or aid. Similarly, AI is not the equal of a human writer -- but it can research, brainstorm, spark ideas, and augment. In this way, AI can today perform many of tasks of a "writer's assistant." A good example is a way I myself used AI recently. I have a screenplay that includes a character named Marcus Washington who longs to be a hip-hop artist. He's a supporting character and his musical aspirations are really only relevant in one scene. Still, I needed a stage name for him. Instead of wracking my brain and slowing down my process of creating the plot points, action and dialogue that actually drives the story forward, I had ChatGPT spitball some rap names. The results ("MC Dubz", "Wash Money", etc.) were perfectly usable placeholders. So even though at the time I chose to press forward onto more important things, whenever I do come back and decide on Marcus's stage name, the AI suggestions have helped by getting my brain going. 

AI though has far more writing capability than simply tossing out prospective character names. It can create storylines, inciting incidents, dialogue, parentheticals, and more -- all within the parameters set forth by a detailed, well thought out, well articulated prompt. And this may be where the Hollywood writers' biggest fears lie. Not that AI will be used to perform research or (as with my example above) to brainstorm things of minimal consequence. Rather, that in the very near future, it will be executing at such a level that its work will be indistinguishable from that of human writer. But just as teachers and professors can't stop students from taking short cuts by using Cliff Notes, there's essentially nothing that can be done to ensure the elimination of AI in the writing process. Like with Cliff Notes and peer-to-peer, the light bulb, Model T, and practically every other technological innovation, there's simply too much convenience and time and cost savings to be had. Putting limits on the use of AI would be like asking someone to research a paper without using the internet.. catch a bus instead of driving... or stitch by hand instead of using a sewing machine.

Yet these kinds of limitations are exactly what the WGA is insisting upon. Their worry about artificial intelligence in their profession is so great in fact, that they are making demands that their work never to be used to train AI. In other words, if the WGA gets their way, Open AI, as well as all other AI developers, would not be able to use the writers' screenplays, teleplays, transcripts and the like for AI to subsume in order to improve its performance. 

The idea of the WGA asking for this is laughable on so many levels. First, because there's no actual way to prevent it from happening. Let's face it, the writers' work is out there and (though it remains copyrighted) available for public consumption to such a large degree that it cannot be realistically withheld from AI -- or any other person, machine, webcrawler, etc. The final shooting script (or at the very least a transcription) of practically every popular film from the last several decades is available and relatively easy to find online. Many other screenplays have been officially published in book form. (Bugsy and Pulp Fiction are just two that are sitting on my bookshelf right now.) Plus, as of today no one outside of Open AI is even sure of how exactly ChatGPT is trained anyway, nor all of the sources it draws from for learning, which essentially eliminates any possibility of removing WGA-created content from the training mix.

But the other reason withholding WGA work from AI is ludicrous is because it simply defies the nature of human creativity, learning and improvement. It would be like Maya Angelou insisting that other poets not be allowed to read or study her work. Or Paul McCartney attempting to prevent other musicians from studying the chord progressions of his Beatles' songs. Or Rembrandt prohibiting other artists from viewing his paintings up close for fear of them replicating his brushstrokes. It simply sounds dumb right of the gate. With little effort, anyone at all can find (and study) all of the examples cited above (Maya Angelou's words, Lennon/McCartney's chord progressions, Rembrandt's paintings) via hundreds of websites, YouTube videos, the public library, and countless other sources. More importantly, creative artists would never attempt to exclude a human being from accessing, analyzing and studying what they've published/produced -- so clearly the WGA's objection to their output being used to train AI stems from the possibility that Chat GPT's ever-growing intelligence could emulate and rival the writers' work to the point where it becomes preferable to studios and production execs.

Fears abound of where AI is headed and how quickly it will advance. We've all seen The Matrix and Terminator movies that imagine dystopian futures where machines or computer systems grow so intelligent they become sentient and ultimately replace, enslave or eradicate their human creators. It could be that it's not just science fiction. Experts in the field, including Open AI CEO Sam Altman, are already warning that AI could pose an existential threat to humanity. Leading AI expert and ethicist Professor Simon Goldstein even went so far as to say that "AI researchers don't understand the machines they've created very well, so there is a chance we will not be able to completely control their goals. If their goals conflict with our own and they are more intelligent than us, then it is possible that over time they will ultimately replace us as the dominant form of life on this planet.

The risk of this type of future (one straight out of science fiction) may be unavoidable. But human history repeatedly shows us that technology always moves forward and progress can’t be stopped. The much more likely scenario is that the sky is NOT falling and AI technology will have far less of a disastrous impact on both human existence and the entertainment writing industry than many may think. In the future, if we all embrace and learn the right ways to leverage it, ultimately AI will simply do what technology does -- fulfill its fundamental purpose of making humans and our society more efficient and more productive... The sooner the WGA realizes all this, the better.

May 14, 2023

In Redefining the Erotic Thriller Basic Instinct Also Changed the Face of Home Video


Basic Instinct, which hit theaters in March of 1992, was one of the most noteworthy and influential film releases of the decade. For starters the screenplay, written by Joe Eszterhas, touched off a Hollywood bidding war before finally being sold for an eye-popping $3 million. The early 90's was a unique time in the filmmaking industry when writers like Shane Black (The Last Boy Scout, The Long Kiss Goodnight), Tom Schulman (Medicine Man), and  Eszterhas (Jade) were inexplicably paid exorbitant amounts of money by studios for scripts that were far more run-of-the-mill than they were novel, unique or high concept. Nevertheless, the Basic Instinct sale broke records and the film's success sparked yet another career resurgence for star Michael Douglas. Topping that, co-lead Sharon Stone owes her entire career to Basic Instinct. The actress had been languishing around Hollywood for close to a decade, unable to make a mark beyond starring in feeble offerings like King Solomon's Mines, Police Academy 4 and Blood and Sand. But Stone found a champion in Basic Instinct director Paul Verhoeven, who had previously worked with her in the 1990 big budget sci-fi effort Total Recall. As femme fatale Lori, wife of Arnold Schwarzenegger's character, Stone crushed in what was her first meaty Hollywood role. Additionally, Total Recall and Basic Instinct had the same production company (Carolco) and distributor (Tri-Star Pictures) so those relationships and Stone's previous work with Verhoeven almost certainly helped her land the part of Catherine Tramell in Basic Instinct. Afterwards, Stone's career took off. Her next two roles were another erotic thriller, Sliver (for which she received top billing and a hefty paycheck) and the Sly Stallone vehicle The Specialist, where she appears in steamy (no pun intended) shower and love scenes. By mid-decade Stone was wearing the crown as the sexiest actress in Hollywood and had earned a Golden Globe Award and Oscar nomination for Casino -- all resulting from the springboard Basic Instinct provided.

But of course what Basic Instinct is best known for is its highly sexualized plot and subject matter. Catherine Tramell, we discover, is bisexual and though the film took criticism at the time from the gay community for portraying her as a heartless killer, Basic Instinct deserves praise for having the guts to include a powerful and unashamedly LGB antagonist. 

Beyond Tramell's sexual preferences, Basic Instinct's focus on sexuality, violence and general sordidness went to levels reminiscent of film noir -- a particular style of American filmmaking (generally considered to have originated in the 1940's) that features a cinematic focus on cynicism, crime, moral corruption and other "dark", unseemly sides of society.  Basic Instinct's story is rife with drug use, stalking, deceit, manipulation, murder and psychological torture, And of course no punches are pulled when it comes to sexual content. In addition to sex scenes as graphic as anything found to that point in an A-list Hollywood feature, there's bondage, sexual assault, and of course Stone's infamous leg-crossing, vagina-revealing interrogation scene.

Moviegoers loved every bit of it and Basic Instinct became a rare spring hit and the fourth highest grossing film of the year. Producers, writers and studio execs noted the film's success and (in the typical fashion of what we know is a copycat industry) began cranking out Basic Instinct clones. In no time at all, Hollywood had fully embraced this new iteration of the movie sub-genre known as "erotic thrillers." Body of Evidence, Consenting Adults, Whispers in the Dark, Sliver and Malice were all released within the year and a half following Basic Instinct but these films certainly can't be considered the first in the genre. Tattoo, Dressed to Kill, Body Heat, Sea of Love, Body Double and Jagged Edge (also written by Eszterhas) from the 1980's, as well as Love Crimes, Under Suspicion and Final Analysis (all released just prior to Basic Instinct) all certainly qualify as erotic thrillers. But what Basic Instinct achieved was to take the core elements of the genre -- danger, suspense, morally ambiguous or outright sociopathic characters, storylines full of plot twists, shadowy cinematography -- and inject it with ultra-heightened levels of sensuality and sexual content. In this way, Basic Instinct raised the bar for the erotic thriller and filmmakers working in the genre began engaging in battles of "can you top this?" as they scripted and shot their films. S&M, group sex, voyeurism and other areas of sexual exploration where Hollywood films had previously only treaded lightly, were now on full display in major productions. From Body of Evidence's infamous Madonna/Willem Dafoe candle wax scene, to Bound, with its focus on the lesbian relationship between the two protagonists, the envelope of explicit sexual content found in erotic thrillers was being pushed further and further.

But of course there's only so far theatrical releases can go in terms of graphic nudity, sex scenes and the like, and only so much A-list talent will agree to. Studios and distributors still had MPAA ratings to consider (Basic Instinct, in fact, had barely dodged the dreaded NC-17.) These factors and the ever-increasing prurient appeal of erotic thrillers led to an explosion of titles made by smaller production companies and then released by independent distributors (or subdivisions of major ones) directly into the home video markets. VHS rentals, cable channels in need of content and (later) the brand new DVD format (first introduced in 1996) gave film distributors viable alternatives for any erotic thrillers that pushed the envelope too far or otherwise weren't suitable for theaters. What's more, erotic thrillers quickly proved to be among the most-watched and most-rented titles. For example, Color of Night (with Bruce Willis and Jane March) flopped upon its release in 1995 but was one of the most rented movies of the year thanks to word of mouth about its explicit sex scenes. Soon a new paradigm was established: script and produce an erotic thriller on the cheap using B- and C-list talent; make it as sexually explicit as you can; combine a titillating adjective (“Indecent”, “Animal”, “Carnal”) with a provocative noun (“Sins”, “Desire”, “Instinct”) for the film's title, then skip theaters entirely and find distribution on late night cable and/or go straight to DVD.

Indeed, this strategy worked so well that for the entirety of the 1990's, home video and cable were glutted with racy films like Sins of Desire, Animal Instincts, Scorned, Night Eyes, Illicit Dreams and Indecent Behavior. These and dozens of other low budget erotic thrillers heavy on sexual intrigue and nudity would soon become go-to after-10PM programming on Showtime, Cinemax (or “Skin-e-max”, as it came to be known) and other cable channels. Truth be told, features like these kept a lot of folks in the movie industry employed for close to a decade and what's more, many of the actresses who starred in these films gained measures of fame for their sexy portrayals and softcore sex scenes. Even today, close to thirty years later, Shannon Tweed, Tane McClure, Maria Ford, Joan Severance and others are recognized and celebrated for their contributions to the erotic thriller sub-genre.

Early 2000's releases like Original Sin, In the Cut and the well-reviewed Mulholland Drive and Unfaithful were some of Hollywood's final entries as the golden age of the erotic thriller wound down. Nevertheless, today you can still find scores of erotic thrillers on the various streaming platforms. Most still adhere to the rules of old paradigm (low budget, B-list talent, no theatrical release, etc.) and only occasionally do you see movies' biggest names revisiting the genre. Still, it's important to remember that in the 1990's many of the decade's most successful actors, actresses and directors (Demi Moore, Kim Basinger, Bruce Willis, Richard Gere, Julianne Moore, Gwyneth Paltrow, Wolfgang Peterson, Phillip Noyce, Barry Levinson and many more) all took swings at the plate with erotic thrillers – and all were looking to duplicate the grand slam home run that was Basic Instinct.

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