June 9, 2009

Things That Bug Me About Teen Wolf

At the end, when Scott (Michael J. Fox) is taking the foul shots, why was that guy allowed to stand right underneath the basket? 

First of all, it's made quite clear that it's the guy's 5th foul... I mean, the guy had fouled out... You have to leave the court when you foul out. My 7-year-old son knows that. Did none of the movie's writers, producers, cast or crew have any familiarity at all with the rules of basketball? Couldn't someone (even a janitor who was mopping up the sweat on the gym floor) have stepped up and said, "Hey, you know guys, if that was the guy's fifth foul, then he'd really have to go to the bench"? And to make it worse, there was no time left on the clock, so the ref (correctly) clears the court. But for some reason, he allows this one guy (Mick) who, once again, had fouled out of the game, to stand right underneath the basket during the foul shots. The ref even has to tell the kid to "Get back." This really irritates me because it's just completely unrealistic. "More unrealistic than a teenage werewolf playing basketball," you ask?... Yes, I think so.



Whatever happened to that girl who played Boof?
 

Susan Ursiti is one of those 80s actresses that was in one movie and then you never saw or heard from her again. Kinda like that really hot girl who played Cookie in One Crazy Summer. Or the one who played Scotty Palmer's girlfriend in Hardbodies (Teal Roberts)... Or Amanda Peterson from Can't Buy Me Love... 


What happened to these women? Did they get married and quit the business?... Or were they sucked into that same Hollywood actress black hole that claimed Mary Stuart Masterson?

Anyway, I looked up Susan Ursiti on IMDb.com and she has a handful of other TV and movie credits (a Charles in Charge episode, a 21 Jump Street in 1987) but nothing memorable... Oh well...

How does Stiles not lose his footing while standing (and dancing) atop a moving van? 

This stunt defies gravity and several other laws of physics. Later in the movie, The Wolf is able to do it, perhaps due to his enhanced animal agility and balance. But Stiles?... No way.


How the hell did Chubby even make the basketball team? 

I would more likely believe the existence of real-life werewolves than this fat load being on the court making sky hooks. 


Why is there a body double for the girl who plays Pam? 

Watch the scene below very carefully. As Pam seduces Scott, she takes off her bra, and then there's a weird cut, after which we only see the girl's back... Looks like a different girl to me. The actress playing this part is named Lorie Griffin and I'm wondering, when they were casting, why didn't they just tell her, "Look Lorie, there's a scene where you'll have to take your top off; it won't be shown, but we need you semi-nude for this one scene." 

So what happened? Did she agree to take her top off and then changed her mind last minute? This ain't exactly a Lady MacBeth kind of role; they could've gotten a thousand actresses for this part. So why not just hire an actress that had no problem with the nudity and just pay her, instead of having to pay Lorie AND a body double?... Just a thought...


Why'd they make a sequel?

The infamous Teen Wolf Too starring Jason Bateman shares the title of most unnecessary comedy sequel of the 80s with Short Circuit 2 and Mannequin 2: On the Move

Why can't you get that song that plays at the end of the movie? 

No, not "Win in the End", which is the song that plays during the basketball game montage where Michael J. Fox does the same behind the back pass and the same layup twenty-five times, but rather "Shootin' for the Moon" by Amy Holland, which is one of the most underrated movie songs ever. Everyone who's seen this movie, LOVES that song. And yet, because the Teen Wolf soundtrack is otherwise unremarkable and now out of print, it's nearly impossible to get a clean CD-quality copy of "Shootin' for the Moon". (And you can't get it by recording the audio from the DVD either, because there's a bunch of crowd cheers and dialog on top of it.) Amy Holland recorded several CDs and some are still available on Amazon, but none of them have "Shootin' for the Moon" on them...Totally unacceptable.
 
And finally, why does becoming a werewolf make you a better basketball player? Makes no sense whatsoever on any level -- physiologically, psychologically, or zoologically.




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